I have not posted in a long time, but basically we agreed to separate several days ago and nothing had changed, really, since we can't afford to squeeze rent for an apartment out of our budget right now and tonight we had the talk about what we're doing. He initiated it, I've been trying to keep the conflict low (not always working), keep some distance, keep life simple, etc. It doesn't matter. He is SOOOOO checked out. I can see (esp. now that I look back), that one of the reasons it has seemed like none of my effort has been worthwhile is because he is done. We actually got out a calendar tonight and figured out who would be in charge of the kids on which nights and which weekends. We are just waiting for me to go back to work in the fall (teaching) and bring in a second income so we can afford to split. He says he feels no connection and doesn't see us ever getting along or repairing things. We fight constantly. If we didn't have kids, I would be much more ok with this, but I am TERRIFIED at what this would do to our children's lives, not in the next six months, in the next 10 or 20 years. Think of all the split Christmases, step-parents and step-siblings. Never rising above a basic level of income, etc. I can't believe we couldn't make it work. I am so sad about that.
Enough for now. I need to go take a bubble bath and soothe my eyes, they are so puffy. Goodnight. Thank you for any words of wisdom. I know this is going to happen. It's just going to be gradual due to our finances.
Do you want to try to save your M? If so, you are better off posting in Separated.
Most people who come to these boards start out where you are now. Plenty save their Ms. And plenty don't. But Surviving is really mostly for folks who are DONE themselves.
You are still living in the same place, the separation is brand new. You'll find people working on the same stuff in Separated.
