No, she kept the insurance. It's got a higher deductable though. So now she's panicking about that. But deductables are usually applied to doctor visits, not hospital stays.
What I really think. She moved out "on her own" into a house she didn't have to pay for, and the next day she was back on your doorstep with health problems and needing money. I think my dog would be better prepared for life on her own. And my dog also knows better than to bite the hand that feeds her.
What I really think. She moved out "on her own" into a house she didn't have to pay for, and the next day she was back on your doorstep with health problems and needing money. I think my dog would be better prepared for life on her own. And my dog also knows better than to bite the hand that feeds her.
Good point.
She's home now. I believe the neighbors are coming home today. I asked her how she was feeling and she says she feels better so maybe her crisis is over. Surprisingly, she said 'thank you for asking' about her health. It seems like nothing, but she hasn't said anything like that in a while.
I expect that she can go back to 'detaching from me' and being 'happy' now. If there's no more drama I can be productive today.
2. She is angry (at you, herself, the world) because even though she is emotionally done with the marriage, she has no financial means to be economically done with the marriage. She feels trapped and she is.
3. She takes little to no responsibility for her role in the demise of the relationship. She doesn't feel she has done anything wrong. (Sorry if I sound like a broken record here.)
4. Yeah, we all know and get that she wasn't there for you. That she didn't help you when you needed it most, that she kicked you when you were down, etc, etc, etc.AND THAT TRULY SUCKS, FRANK. You seem to REALLY ,REALLY want her to be held accountable for that transgression. You seem to hold on to that so tightly that it keeps you from moving forward. It almost seems like if you could get some small indication from her that she understands the wrong that she did to you, that MAYBE, you might be able to release that and stop focusing on it and thus become functioning and productive and healthy again. SHE'S NOT IN THE PLACE TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN RIGHT NOW, IF EVER. ARE YOU GOING TO LET THAT CONTINUE TO KEEP YOU PARALYZED?
And then what do you do in your conversation? You take on the whole responsibility for the financial mess, yet again. You'll take care of it. You'll not depend on her to pay for groceries. You'll be the savior once again. And how does that make her feel? Controlled. Controlled by you and under your thumb. And then she gets angry.
Do not release her from her obligation to pay the groceries. She may just have to be late on her credit cards and then SHE WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF HER CHOICES. She will have to take calls from her creditors. She will feel the reality of her choices. STOP TRYING TO SAVE HER! STOP TRYING TO PREVENT HER SUFFERING. It's called a reality check, Frank. And no amount of you preaching it to her will make her "get it". She needs to learn the lesson on her own.
5. Your W wants the best of both world. The security of the marriage (even though that is very rocky right now). And then freedom to be an unmarried person and make her own choices without regard to any other person, including, apparently her children. And right now you are enabling that because you feel you have no choice, financially. That you need her income to help keep you barely afloat. Really? What exactly IS she paying for? Are you giving up your peace of mind for the contribution of groceries, given begrudgingly, that you may or may not get, depending on her ability to pay at the moment.
Sorry, I have to sign offf for now. I will continue this later.
Hang in there.
Spitfire
6
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
