I am in the same boat. My H left about a month in a half ago. He's not going out and telling anyone and neither am I. But, a few times people have asked him about us and he didn't say anything. Is that a good sign?? He basically said he doesn't want to hear it because he has already gotten so much slack from the few people who do know. My H has just lost himself. He doesn't know who he is or what he wants in life. And it really stinks that there is nothing I can do but let him see what's out there and hope that in the end, our 1 y/o and I are what he is seeking... but I don't know if I can just sit around and wait like many people have here... I still want more of a family and I have my doubts about him coming back.
SJV Me 27 H 27 M 10/14/05 Together 11 Yrs Bomb 2/16/08 Seperated 2/25/08 D1 H moved back in-6/08 H lost his job 7/14/08 OW back in picture I told H my heart was done 7/21/08 I filed for D 9/8/08
"Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values"
SJV, I don't know if that is a good sign or not...it could just mean that he doesn't feel like getting into it with other people or answering to other people...or it could mean that he doesn't want people to know just in case you work it out. Who knows.
Everyone's situation is different and only you can decide how long you can wait...I will go read your thread.
Then he started talking about being hungry and wanting to go eat. That is when I usually say "want to go get something to eat?" and we go out. I didn't say anything this time. If he wants to hang out with me then he is going to have to be the one to ask.
What an EXCELLENT move, Kris! GREAT step forward in detaching and thinking of YOU for a change!
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Thanks GF...I really wanted to ask him...but I didn't!!
My guess is that right now he doesn't ask me to do anything because he feels if he asks then he should buy...well, right now he can't buy. He can't very well ask me to dinner and then expect me to buy right?
This no contact thing is going to be hard for me right now, but I will do my best. I told him I wasn't going to call, so I have to stick to that...otherwise what I say means nothing.
I just wanted to mention that I am feeling better today.
I am not stressed about H and what he will eat for dinner...I mean I literally worry about what he will eat...I act like his mother! It is his problem. I used to worry that he wouldn't call me if he needed me...so I would call him and ask if he needed help..not anymore. If he really needs me, he will call. I feel a weight lifted off of my shoulders. His issues are not my issues right now.
BTW, I am new to this whole "letting go" thing...but for right now it feels good. I am looking forward to going home...cooking for myself and going to work out.
...Somebody remind me of this feeling when I am feeling down again.
I've been wanting to get back into my bike ride routine for the last few days, but because of the allergy cold I had over the weekend, I think I'm coming down with bronchitis now. Bummer .
So exercise twice as hard for me today, ok?!!
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
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