thanks KAW... reminders such as yours are what I need! Yep... that's what I was thinking. Funny... didn't even think about it as a 180... but that's what it is isn't it!
Eric... hmmm do I know you? Or are you just being a nice kind of encouraging success kind of guy? And ON TOP on MY thread even tree
Dear Treesa2, This is the first time I've visited your thread and I just want to tell you to keep up the good work! Would you please come and visit my thread and tell me how you became such an awesome DBer and how I can learn to be just like you?
Oh, and on your way over, could you stop and pick up some wine, a little cheese, and maybe a cabana boy??!! It's gettin' lonely in Bedrock! LOL!!!
love, wilma
I learn by going where I have to go.
~Theodore Roethke
I think KAW is bang-on!!!! Couldn't have worded it better myself. OK, tree. there was a time when your H felt controlled by these kinds of things. The DB way is to eliminate this source of contention. But once the pattern is broken, and is seen to be broken, I can't see why things have to stay that way forever.
The worst thing to do is to go back to old patterns. But there's a difference between reverting to old patterns and occasionally doing something that was part of an old pattern.
Spontinaity is an important thing, tree. You can't spend the rest of your life planning everything in advance in order to avoid the perception that you're reverting to the bad old days. That would only create new "bad old days."
When we start DBing, we hafta go overboard to get the pendulum swinging in the other direction. But, there comes a time when we have to act more naturally.
The closer you get to centre, the less you should push - in either direction.
Tree! Do I get to vote too? I say make plans and surprise him. Andy hit the nail on the head (he's such a smart fellow!). The old pattern is gone. Don't look at it as if you would be forcing him to your will but trying to surprise him with something he might like. And to thank him for the new commode.
hi tree just wanted to thank you for pointing out the facts as they are to me, I know the only way to get help is to ask and ask nicely without my typical as you put it wiseass ways. you have visited my threads in the past, I know it is hard to keep up with other peoples sits, i have followed a few and those that i followed closely have already given up and left the board (thus my plea) I think i handled things ok. but am still at a loss, would love to find myself in this forum and am yet afraid that i may. looked for you on newcomers and am glad to find you over here!! I have always enjoyed your cander on my thread and on others. hope all is well for you! LL
No context here since I haven't read all the way through but it's been a long time since I said hello...........hope you're still raisin' hell and the renovations are moving in the right direction
and I just want to tell you to keep up the good work! Would you please come and visit my thread and tell me how you became such an awesome DBer and how I can learn to be just like you? 
