Just before leaving for 3 weeks to visit family my H hurt me again with inconsiderateness. I was going to need to start meds again but since I've been away I've managed to successfully get off of them again. This is no way to live. Makes me want to find excuses to spend as little time with him as possible. I've been thinking about taking some classes and getting a "room of my own" to live in part time.
Have anotherr minute. Know I'm not giving much info here but the bottom line seems to be that having expectations of my h no matter how simple and reasonable they seem to me keeps breaking my heart. He keeps saying that he wants to be "in" this marriage and that making me happy is important to him but acting contrary to this. I can't really tell if it helps to talk because it does seem to help at the time then he claims to just forget what we've talked about. I find it excruciating to walk around with a heart that is constantly being broken so want my heart back. Perhaps the solution is to try as hard as I can to think about all the other things in my life, don't make any significant requests of my H (to prevent the heartache) and keep working with insignificant ones until or if I ever again I feel I can trust him. To me this is half a marriage and not how I want to live. Perhaps I could even tryto keep explaining the significant ones (it's hard for me to imagine, but I think he just doesn't undrstand) with the key being not to make any request--and having no expectation--just trying to explain. Could really use some input folks. How does this sound to you?
It's hard, I know. Your H just doesn't seem to get it. I know hewants to get it. Frankly, I think that right now, he doesn't have the capacity to get it.
I'm not sure why that is but it's very similar to what I'm going through right now.
There was a time when I wasn't giving my W the attention she deserved. I didn't get it either. I had to go through a nervous breakdown before I got my priorities straight. And now... I'm paying for it.
