I don't know why she won't go forward.We have spent time together everyday and we have had no problems.About everything she has done is not typical for an XW to do.She still has most of her stuff at my house,she stopped the lawyer from taking $ out of my 401 she pays for alot of stuff when we go out to eat,we see each other almost everyday and she has been the one to call and ask me.
I may be off base here, but her actions seem very much like those of a person who is moving forward ... towards you. She may not be ready to CALL it that and maybe that's the part you wish you had, the reassurance that that is her intention. I can name that tune, as can everyone here, but this is where the patience part comes in ...
My 2 cents (same as everyone else here)- Enjoy the good stuff going on and let her tell you her intentions when she's ready
Why is it when things are going better is sometimes the roughest.i sit here and try to reassure myself that she is really trying.There are so many things that are not normal for an XW to do.i wish I knew what her plans was,a while back she said she was just sitting back and watching.
We had a pretty good weekend,we ate every meal except breakfast together and went went shopping and she cooked at my house and had some of her relation over.She made alot of comments about the future so that was good,time will tell.
Just checking in with you and actually it seems like things are going pretty good. Do not pursue XW! You're learning a new dance and she gets to lead - you are the follower. I know that's uncomfortable for you because you're used to leading. But, when you try to lead she goes away. Don't initiate the OR talk.
That's great that she cooked at your house and had people over. She enjoys being a family with you and the girls so give her as much of that as you can. Accept that time as a sign of good faith, relax, and enjoy it, but don't push for more. She's really coming around now, so let her!
On a non-verbal level, how is the communication? I know you want to put your arms around her but do you think that's what she wants? When you're in that moment, does she look into your eyes or does she pull away, go into another room, start up or change the conversation? She must be giving off some sort of signal and it's up to you to read it.
Thanks Violet, We have eaten together at least once a day for the last week and a half and she invited me to her softball game and we had a great time.This weekend we ate every meal except breakfast together since friday night.Today I asked her what she thought about going on a mini vacation this weekend a couple of hours from home and instead she brought up going to a resort 6 hours away and going with another couple.It may be cloudy but the sun is coming out.She also asked yesterday if she needed to pay for the dogs haircut this time,last I checked it was my dog and it's going to have puppies so she tells everyone that it's our dog.I really think she has a plan,have a good day.have you heard from Karla?
I agree with Violet. It really does sound like she is coming around. Just let her do the leading. Be fully open with love and really listen to her will be your ticket to success.
Keep up the awesome work.
If you get a moment, check out my thread on "Surviving the Big D" bb. I had a funny XW moment this past weekend.
Well we are going on a 3 day vacation with another couple and the kids,staying in the same room and everything.I hope it is a good sign.I sure don't think it's normal activity for an XW not planning on coming back
I'm starting to get nervous,what if she does bring up that she just wants to be friends.We get along so good together.We may have been married 7 years but I was her first 18 years ago.It's kind of strange but I made her wait around while I partied and was married once before and lived with a couple of different women,I guess it's my paybacks.I will not cave in on this trip,It will be something good that she can remember forever no matter what happens.I just wish she would show some affection or something,maybe she will give me a birthday present tomorrow.See you all next week.I hope everyone has a good and productive weekend.
Well I made it through the weekend vacation and we had a really good time.It sure sucked going home without my family last night after spending 3 days in the same room with them.I was real nervous about touching XW and just lightly did so a couple of times but all in all it went well.I don't really know what the next step is I guess I will have to wait and see.
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