Hey I met up with W and her work colleagues after their meal, W was really happy to see me and seemed really proud to introduce me to everyone. We went on to a few bars W seemed in a very happy "girly" mood, I told her it's been more than 10 years since I've seen her like that. We laughed, chatted and danced, their was lots of eye contact, touching, small kisses between us almost like a courting couple and we really had a good night
We shared a cab with one of her colleagues, when we were dropped off home W was desperate for the bathroom so she went straight upstairs, I hung around for a while downstairs before I went up. The bathroom seemed quiet so I poked my head in, and guess what I saw ? There was W sat on the "can" pants and tights around her ankles fast asleep. I think she drank too much wine to night.
So I had a struggle to remove her contact lens, undress her and put her to bed, so no action tonight. Hey I wasn't disappointed (cos I'm used to this now)and I just remembered some of Forrests high points.
Lay next to it. - I had no choice tonight, but it was nice being next to her.
Savor it.. - Oh I did, I always love her scent after a night out.
Its coming.. - I hope so
Not quite in sync (yet). - Very true but tonight I had a feeling of "us" rather than "me and W"
I can't imagine trying to get contacts out of her eyes.....lol. Had a good laugh thinking about the scene of her on the pot and you finding her like that. Can't say you didn't try to make the most of the night!
Take care.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
W and I are getting closer and closer in bed, last night she initiated some very long kisses. We talked a little, laughed a lot, she likes the changes I've made on me, but she also pointed out a few minor things which in the past have put her off ML. We laughed about them too, I said "you're my best friend you're suppose to tell me straight". W said she'd been telling me for a long time but she was sure I wasn't listening so gave up. Maybe she was right and I just took her affection for granted and drop my personal standards and let a few things go . Anyway we agreed to take our time and move slowly towards ML although she did allow me some comfort and relief before sleep.
So we had some constructive talk, not full R talk or crazy talk, but I sure there's still plenty more of them to come.
I like the new title of your thread... It comes across as you are taking it really slow and rebuilding your R. In my book that is exactly how it should go. I am impressed by youw W's consistency regarding ML. I know you hate it but it seems to me that when it happens... it's going to be a major turning point for you.
The thought for the title was kinda a play on words in my head. Piecing for the forum, piecing or re-building the M. Back together was the two of us rebuilding the M. Not sure if that is clear but basically I felt the two were working on the M, W hasn't said this but now I can see her actions are speaking volumes.
Yes for me it's extremely frustrating that we haven't ML yet, two years ago I was thinking if we just ML, that would show that W is committed to the M. Now I can see that there is much more to life and the two of us than that. Actually if I look back 2 years after W first A I think she was fence sitting cos I hadn't really changed, and then she never really got back into the M cos she still had the old me. Now I can see that my changes /actions are prompting her actions. For every action there is a reaction ?( not sure if this fits).
Hey I almost forgot about GAL & work on me, I'm sure you still have to do these things when you're piecing.
W seems to be interested in the new friends that I made and the places we go to, so she's invited herself to join me on our next night out with them. Actually I'm happy she's coming with me and I think W is happy that I'm finding the old me, the guy she first met and fell in love with.
Some may think this as vanity, but in the early days after the bomb you have to think of ways to change yourself lose weight, change hairstyle, new clothes, body piercing etc. Well one of the changes I thought about was having a wart removed. You see I have this wart the size of a pea on the side of my face just below my left ear. I used to be very self conscious of in my late teens and early twenties, but it never seemed to put anyone off me and no one really notices it, just me (or little kids). Anyway the medical practice we use advertises that they can carry out minor procedures like this. So I've made an appointment to be assessed then have it removed. I'm not gonna tell W about it and I'll see if she notices.
Bedtime conversations with W are getting more relaxed and friendly.
Last night W and I were talking about D6 and the comments her school teachers have made about her being such a chatterbox in classes. W say that she remembers herself being exactly the same at that age. I told W that I was painfully shy as a kid, and that the shyness followed me right into my twenties. W says that I must have overcome that by the time I had met her. How was that I asked. W then recounted the story of how we first stayed together. We had been dating about 3 months and W was at my house and it was getting late so I told her she could stay overnight. W said no and made the excuses that she had no toothbrush or overnight bag so she couldn't stay. Ok then. The next time W was at my house I asked her to stay over, and before she could make her excuses I told her that I'd got her a toothbrush, dressing gown, slippers even fresh underwear, so there's no excuse "You're staying". We both laughed about that, but it gave me pointers of how I used to be with W.
Reconciling with W this time seems different to 2 � years ago after her first A. Things are going in the right direction now, but I'm almost too scared to accept them. When we were reconciling last time W still avoided contact with me at night time. In fact in that period between the 2 A's I think we only ML twice, but I must have begged a thousand times. The negative thought that comes into my head (cos I must process it) is that she never really let go of OM until now, so for 2 years we were just going through the motions of reconciling. (Sigh).
OK back to last night W says she really enjoyed the chat and even the fact that we could laugh about things together. Although we haven't ML W seeks me out to come close to her and keep her warm before she sleeps, so that's nice and positive, and a lot better than the way things were just a few weeks ago.
Now you want it to really sink in go back and read your first posts. Look how far you have come from. You are in a good place. You are doing things different. It feels different.
Lay next to it. - it was nice being next to her.
Savor it.. - I always love her scent after a night out.
Its coming.. - I know so.
Not quite in sync. - Who cares. See #1
I modified it a little to show you INSLY all over the place.
Kalni.. I saw your post. I have been working/sick. Really tired going to bed.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
