H returned to me 2 weeks ago, moved in and told me all about OW (co-worker) said he wanted to make our marriage work and put our family back together. Last night he revealed that he cant seem to get over her. says it was so easy with her, easy to be affectionate, easy to tell her he loved her, etc. doesnt feel that way with me. Now what am I supposed to do? Please help, I am losing my mind and my heart is breaking all over again.
Deb, My dear, there is only one thing you can do. Send him to her and start moving forward with your life. Your H chooses his own path. You choose yours.
He may change his mind after he is gone. There is no way you can hold him back. He will resent any attempts.
Try to maintain composure when you send him on his way. Let him know that it is not what you want but you accept the fact that he gets to choose. Let him see that you will not lose your grip. If anything, he will wonder if he is letting a good thing go.
I would say keep DB,ng, now more than ever. Don't give up now. There is a good change you and your H have reconciliated too early. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. I have read many other situations like this were this has happened after WAS comes back too early.. Actually, this time is even harder because you think your soclose and it's almost over, well it isn't. Patience, patience....let him say what he wants. I do agree with one thing Kent said, you can't stop him if he does want to go.....but think of this...that relationship now is really being destroyed...She knows he still loves you....plus, he is not over her in his heart, another words he is still morning that relationship....try, No Drama for a while....continue to back off and give space....talk when he wants and remind him how hard you two have worked to get here and you are willing to work as hard to get a better marriage...it won't be easy, but you are committed...I also read (Lorettea) that her husband came home and left again and came back....Dont give up!!! Please keep me (us) posted....your situation is important...Good Luck...
I too believe he may have moved home too soon. How long has he been gone? My XH has been gone since 1998 and just NOW is realizing he may not have done the right thing by divorcing me. It's really hard to say how long he needs to be away. Everyone is different. Please be patient and let him have his space.
Debra, It's not that he doesn't want to be in your life, it's does he want to be in his. Lot's of life questions going on right now. Believe me, this time is good for you as well. Learn to grow in his absence (someone has to) and learn to bring him closer when he is around....
how do I bring him closer without making him feel threatened or pressured? I have the ability to be patient, but It would be easier if I knew it was going to work out, which ofcourse I cannot know. Did I also mention that she is a co-worker (postal service) is thin and pretty, while I am overweight (working on for myself finally) and 42 years old. How do I compete with that
No one knows the outcome, if we did we would not be here. You are not competing, she is. You have established something she could never have, your marriage and the love you both feel for each other and what you have together, believe in this. You can compete as well and hold more in your favor. Begin to exercise and lose weight. This will make you feel very good as well as your H noticing a difference. Remember, let him find out that no one else can duplicate what you have given him. I know it's hard to sit back and watch and wait but let him. Let go w/ love. In time (no one knows how long) he will see this. Trust me, the more you let go, the greater the love, this will never change. Love is incredible, it really is...He will miss your love...I believe love is like a snowflake...no two alike exists...yours cannot be duplicated...so, work on you and let him investigate for all the reason why YOU are the ONE!!!!!!!!
i am scared. I am scared that if he leaves again, he will go to her and that will be the end of it. I couldnt do this again and neither can my kids. They will be heartbroken. I really would rather he stay with us until he has found the decision. Is that a bad idea. I have already taken so much, what is a little more, if the outcome will be my marriage back stronger and better.
