I guess I NEED a “super glue” to piece my marriage back together and I also NEED a “red hot pepper” to spice it up, but how. Our relationship is moving but sloooooowwwwwwly.
Like I said before, the goodnight hug is still on, but that was it, no more and no less. Well, there was a tiny plus on top of this. Why? For the first time in 11 years (that’s right YEARS), my wife agreed (allowed) letting me spend a night sleeping next to her in the same bed last Friday. Of course, that didn’t last all night, but only for two hours. Her excuse was I snored a little and that bothered her. So she got up and slept on the couch and I decided to move back to my room. When I asked to try again second night, she said once a week on Friday night for now.
This has nothing to do with having intimacy. During that two hours, none of my body touched her body at all. All I wanted was to be able to sleep next to her for a change. It was silly to think about, wasn’t it? A husband and wife sleep next to each other in the same bed should be a given, not in my case for the past 11 years.
That’s the disappointed part of my life so far. I guess she probably felt invaded by my present there. After all these years, I guess she thought that was her “spot” and when I joined in, it was like an invasion.
That’s where I think I might have to GIVE UP on this marriage.
Lonely, she said she's giving you another chance, right? Listen to what she says, the snoring may bother her, maybe she is a light sleeper. I know it seems cruel, but listen to what she says. Have you thought about snoring remedies? I know there are snoring "clinics" along w/ other tricks to stop that. You can tell her you're looking at fixing that problem b/c you really look forward to sleeping in the same bed w/ her. She'll see you mean it if you are listening to what she says and looking for solutions. Just my suggestion.
John, great point.....I should let my H know of these clinics too!! LOL Seriously, LAN, check them out. There are also those nose bands that you put on your nose when you sleep. they are avail in pharmacies everywhere.
good, but slow progress on the homefront. Amazing patience too...You should call yourself Job!!
That snoring can be a real pain for our spouses. My W would wear earplugs and have a fan on next to her drown out the sound. I wonder if this had any affect on her mentally?
You are having a rough time. I have a thought on the snoring problem. My sweetheart is the world's loudest snorer. I mean, it is terrible! We see each other as frequently as we can, given that he lives in Maryland and I live in Colorado. But when we are together, it takes a few nights before I am able to sleep through his snoring. I think for me it's a matter of tuning it out. Hope I'm making sense. Maybe it's this way for your wife too... ???
By the way, my ex-husband snored too, but it seldom woke me up - maybe because I was used to hearing it.
Physically, I have been sick with the flu like symptom for almost a week now. I’m getting better though, but the sore throats still irritated me sometimes and I’m still feeling weak and tired. Anyway I decided to come back to work yesterday.
Mentally or emotionally, I guess it could have been worse, especially next week will be my 2nd anniversary of the day I accidentally found out about my wife’s affair. For almost two years, I’m still struggling with my marriage. Nothing much has changed since then, especially the intimacy department. My attempt of sleeping next to my wife came to an end last week due to my flu. I ended up going back to my room and sleeping there again.
I’m so tired of everything. I don’t want to come to work, but yet I don’t want to stay home either. But then again, I HAVE to come to work to support my family. My wife is still out of job and she is in the process of looking for a job. It has been 13 months since she quitted her job. I’m so sorry to vent here again.
I hope I’m not in a mid-life crisis here. That would be a disaster for my family. My kids are happy the way the kids are supposed to be and I’m proud of what they have accomplished in term of school. They both are straight A students.
It is almost like the only reason I’m still there is because of my kids. When it comes to my wife I’m numb to the bone. Now she gives me more headaches in term of her job hunting goes. Sometimes I feel like telling her to just get any job and get done with it. But no, she always comes up with all these conditions such as too far, too early, less pay…and on and on.
Anyway, I guess I’m doing fine for the mindless and loneliness person like me.
Hello my friends, I’m still ALIVE. Thing is somewhat OK, I think, for us. Of course thing hasn’t changed in term of intimacy department. Well, if a hug is part of intimacy definition then she did hug me in return when I hugged her goodnight before I went to my room. We talked and laughed with each other from time to time, even made jokes here and there. Pretty much everything we talked about was in general.
Yes, she is still looking and/or waiting for a job. Somehow she felt discouraged by the job market out there. So far we can get by with my income.
