I have posted some of my problem on another post but I was looking for some help so I'm posting it on a new topic. Husband left with OW...then she found out he wanted both so she left. He came home. Before and after always talking about selling our home. I had some inheritance that basically is gone with his businesses etc. Now the house is left. He told me he would give it a year. Well, its been 17 months. He has worked 7 months of that. His father got ill and his company folded so now he is still looking for work. Last night he told me that this is the way it will be....We will sell the house this year...I will move with him by his parents..quit my 10 year job and we would get a divorce but I will be close to help take care of his family and that I will always be family. He will get some land for him and get me and our son a house paid for. No matter what we will be buried together...he won't marry anyone but maybe live with someone. He may come back to me but if I'm with someone..it won't happen. He is gone thru some sort of Mid Life Crises. He says he is half way thru his life and he needs to be single. I think this is a crock and all he wants is half the house. He said he has tried but I don't think he has really tried. We still have a year until he thinks we will sell the house to work on us. I have had people say...stand up for yourself and don't give in. He is trying to manulupate me for what HE wants. Please help on this...I think he may have had this all planned to begin with and just acted out being home. I'm really confused but I don't want to be taken to the cleaners or HURT ANYMORE!!! Rowena
STAND UP FOR YOURSELF (AND YOUR S) AND DON'T GIVE IN!!
Did he have this planned all along? Probably not, but he is clearly taking advatage of you now. Is he malicious? More likely just confused and messed up. But if he wants you back, he has to accept that he cannot write all of the rules.
This is not just your home and career you are talking about here, it is everything that you have for yourself.
If you really love him, make him understand the meaning of compromise. Loving distance means being there for him, but not being a doormat. Do you know what I mean? Something the most loving thing you can do for someone is to let them make their own way.
I know you are hurting, but try to do something for yourself.
Rowena, If you are living with someone else and dont think you will return to your husband then why are you hanging onto what is half his. I guess I need more of the story before I can really comment on your sit. Loretta
