I having posting in Piecing - not b/c we were, just b/c i goofed the original posting..don't know how to link, but threads were intitled: All hope is lost & All hope is lost 2 & Hoping to get H back 3.
Just found out that H IS HAVING AN AFFAIR, with the person i thought he was 12 months ago.
I have seen emails and email hotel reservations, a photograph of them having a coffee/lunch together.
Apart from feeling extremely sick right now, its the lies and decept, I asked him 12 months ago if he was having an affair with this woman, he denied it.
She has issues with family, her H had a stroke which left him unable to talk or walk, she has withdrawn £60,000 from the business and £600 a time for hotels etc.
She left her h at the end of last year, citing his violence towards her. I don't know if her H knew then, but he knows now and is devastated.
I think they have a long term plan.
He has been summouned to see the big boss at work this pm as it has huge implications (We work together). The boss will tell H that he has told me of the affair this morning and sent me home, where i will wait and see what H will do. If he has any respect for me he will show up and want to speak to me, at least thats what i'm hoping he will do.
I haven't posted to you before, but I just read your post and I wanted to tell you that I am so sorry that you find yourself here! It does matter if you suspect or not, but to find out for sure it really knocks you on your a**! I does seem like it now, but you will get up, you will brush yourself off, and you will get through it! Take good care of you!
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
I am so sorry. The actual proof of what we suspected is hard to take, even if we knew it was coming. This is a great place for support. I agree with saffie, that article is a good one. Take care.
And I'm not kidding, the EXACT same thing happened to me last week ! 12 months ago he started acting all weird, just before he bought his 40th birthday for which, you guessed it, he bought himself a Porsche. So I completely am with you in processing the lies, the deceipt, the "you're never happy and just have to find things to complain about, you're paranoid, you've got problems". I may be a bit further down the "processing" line as we have been separated for 10 months, but was still completely crushed because not only did I find out about the affair and lies, I found out that they've been living together since August yet as recently as Christmas told me we could never be together because "he didn't trust me not to hurt him again".
He told me about the A after it had been going on for 18 months. It ceased within a week of me knowing. I was very explosive when I found out and very vocal!!!!! That helped in my sitch as my H thought I didn't care about him anymore - I think my reaction showed him that wasn't a correct assumption.
Do you live in the Middle East permanently or are you over there for work?
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
That's great news saffie. From my experience my husband would be the complete opposite - he is living with her after all. I found out that they're currently on holiday together and while we've had some sms / email contact ( selling house ) I haven't mentioned it. Won't get the last 12 months of my life back.
Came here for H's work ( the irony !! ) But now have a great job and great friends so not leaving.
