Just read your latest post. Sounds confusing!!! Reconnection + gifts + future talk + constant phoning the OW ?? All I can say is, you are being SO STRONG and doing such a good job in an extremely difficult situation... It may be hard to see from where you're at but it sounds like since H *is* interacting with you more *and* being at home is more pleasant that what you are doing IS working and bringing about change. Even if it's not as fast as you want!! Take heart in your steps forward.
What are you doing to take care of yourself these days??
thanks so much for visiting my thread! I wanted to tell you something... please forgive me if I've told you this story before... A couple weeks ago I was in kind of a low, and I was talking with a friend on the phone about how I felt like EVERYTHING was wrong with my life... and then I had a flash of inspiration. I thought, instead of trying to change EVERYTHING, which is overwhelming and discouraging just to think about, what about just planning one little tiny change? Which for me, was downloading some new music and making a new recipe. When I did it, I felt like a princess. It was so simple. And fun. And I had changed something. What can you do like that? Just for yourself? What is the smallest little fun thing you could try? Can you let us know?
Hi T and Grace: Thanks for checking in on me! Well...I came home last night and made a big pot of homemade beef vegetable stew...haven't done that for ages! H was at school, so I enjoyed myself in the kitchen. I really don't cook all that much since the kids left for school. I'm off this Friday and have decided to 1) not tell H that I have the day off..and..2) go to the movies and eat buttered popcorn. This is totally out of character for me. I've never been to the movies alone before. Haven't decided what to see yet...a chick flick probably since H won't ever watch them. Also a former co-worker emailed me and he will be in town on Friday...he invited me and some of the others in my office to meet him for "happy hour". I think I might go. He's a friend of both H and I and I would be there with other people I work with, so I don't think it would be inappropriate. Plus, he was the office clown and always made everyone laugh...so I think I would really enjoy seeing him. He and his wife moved about an hour away last fall. I haven't decided if I will tell H about him coming...I probably will because I think H would enjoy seeing him too and if H doesn't want to come, I'll go anyway.
So....I'm taking baby steps towards GALing...thanks to you for your encouragement. The little steps don't seem as overwhelming as when you're looking at the GREAT BIG PICTURE!!!!
Hugs to you all!
BA
Me:43 H:48 M:24 yrs T: 26 yrs 2 kids ILYNILWYA 8-07 - MOW 9-07 H moved out 8-2-08 Back 8-18-08 Affair continues Back home but not emotionally
I just wanted to stop by quickly and see how you're doing, and here I find a super-strong DBing master at work! Having heard my H just mention OW's name, I am in awe of your strenght in dealing with your sitch. Seriously, BA- you are one of the strongest people here. Thankyou for the great advice on my thread- no asking H how he can be so IL with an eggplant!
And do we get to see the recipe for the stew?
(((BA)))
L.xx
PS I love the Friday plans, and especially the movie plans- let us know what you see!
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart. And you'll never walk alone.
I am SO excited about your stew!!! And also your movie plan with the popcorn! I started going to the movies by myself a couple years ago. It took a lot of guts for me to do it the first time, but it can become kind of special and fun. Even if you're by yourself there is something special about sharing it with the rest of the audience, even if they're all strangers! I also like your plan to join departed work friend for happy hour. I find when I feel discouraged I really avoid social situations but that is strangely when they can be the most uplifting.
Yes, baby steps!!!
One Day is SO right. You have ENORMOUS strength every day to be dealing with your H talking about OW and watching him on the phone with her and everything. Don't discredit yourself. You are a Strong Woman. And don't you forget it!!!
