I don't seem to understand the situation that I have been going through with the XW right now. She wanted out of this marriage so much so that she pushed the D and it was over in 3 months from time of filing to final signing. I have accepted that and have attempted to move on, but as I have stated in previous posts she has made things difficult at every turn. I pushed up until the D for us to go to C together, she absolutely refused. This past Thursday, I received an email from her stating that our D4 is confused and she wants her to see a child therapist. It is ironic that she would not step one foot into counseling with me, but now she feels our D4 needs it. Which IMHO she wouldn't need if the XW had gone into C with me during the M. We have joint custody and are supposed to be making all decisions in regards to D4, but XW took D4 to initial consultation and then contacted me and said she was going. And that she wants me to participate in the program. I have my D4 this weekend, and she keeps saying mommy says I am confused. My XW spent over 1.5 years in C without my knowledge, (paid cash) so no record. This is another in a very long list of things XW has done. I accepted the fact she was a WAW and have been trying to move on. She was the one who wanted this yet, she can't seem to move on.
She recently filed a motion of contempt of court against me because her child support was not being garnished from my pay check, but yet I was directly paying her on time everytime. Her attorney was supposed to setup the Income Deduction Order, but sent a copy to the wrong address for my company so they never received it, again this was my fault. Sorry for rambling on again today, but I am trying to move on, but every week it is something else...and I am about frustrated and don't knoww what to do now. Thanks...
Chrism 40 XW 41 M 10 Yrs D 4 Bomb dropped 3/9/07 D Final 6/19/07
Isaiah 4o:31 But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength;They shall mount up with wings like eagles,They shall run and not be weary,They shall walk and not faint.
Sorry you feel so frustrated. My D7 goes to C at school and loves it. It's been so good for her. She said 'I can talk about my feelings w/ Ms. E, but I just play'. So I like to see kids have a neutral outlet they can go to. Just keep supporting your D and support the therapy so your D doesn't feel stigmatized for going.
Very frustrating about the motion of contempt. It sounds like your X does have some issues she needs to work thru, continuing to blame you for everything won't solve anything. So keep your chin up. Vent as needed. Keep being the best dad you can. It'll all sort out and the main thing is that YOU can sleep at night.
Dude! I feel your pain!!!!!! I am in just about the same boat. I have two kids but unfortunately, I do not have joint custody YET. Everything is my fault....even after 2 years! Check out my posts and you will probably laugh at the similarities of our sitch. My EX left the marriage and it was full speed ahead for her too to be D'd ASAP. So....needless to say, same deal here. I have had my wages garnished too even though I was paying her on time and blah, blah, blah. To this day, it was my fault that the M failed and that I didn't try and too little too late...etc.
Now, as far as the two of us making JOINT decisions, that's a crock. If it doesn't work to her advangtage, it don't happen. When I am supposed to have my D14 or S16 on the weekend, she NEEDS to know by Tuesday about the plans. And, even then, she may not let me have my kids for HER own reasons. My kids know the truth and that they know that when it doesn't work for their mom, she drags out the paperwork and sticks it in their face to tell them that it is her right.
My D14 is having the most problems with her mom and her mom thinks that she needs to see a counselor and that she is lashing out and that I or my Mom has something to do with it. I told my D14 to go! Go and talk to the counselor (military). I told her that she could tell the counselor anything she wanted and that it would probably help her to talk to someone that was not bias towards either one of the parents.
Long story short.....it will always be your fault, just like after almost 2 years of being D'd, it is still mine.
Keep talking here and spill your beans, but stay supportive of your child.
At least in my state, one big mistake you made is paying her directly. I hope what you meant is you paid through the child support services directly so it can be duly noted that you paid. If not, she can argue that the money was for something else, you were paying her back for something, or whatever she wants to say about the money. You could argue it in court if you had to, but it's always advisable to avoid that if possible. Don't underestimate what some spouses receiving child support are capable of.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Your name/info listed when you post indicates you're in Florida. I don't know your story and if your ex/child(ren) are also in Florida or if you have a court order and it was venued in Florida. If so, this is what I found on the Florida child support website under frequently asked questions regarding payments...
Article No: 968 (Revised: 03/05/2003 ) Question: Will the support payments be paid directly to me? Can I send the payment directly to my spouse?
Answer: The Court Order states who receives the support payments. It is suggested to read the Order very carefully; failure to make payments may constitute contempt. If it is not instructed in your Court Order and you make direct payments to the custodial parent, you may not receive credit for payments.
If you aren't under a court order, you can present that information to receive credit for payments made between when you were separated and now.
If you are court ordered, I'd make sure that whatever child support agency is monitoring your case has your payment information. If there's a court order, someone is monitoring - depending on the state the order was venued in.
