I know many of you have been following my sitch. I am going to start a new thread since this is the start of a new phase for me.
W and I had a fantastic dinner tonight. Spent the first part of the evening talking about her trip to Europe. I think it was great that she went, she is relaxed and happy. She said that the trip was good, but we would have done it differently. She then mapped out an itinerary on how we would possibly see Italy together this summer - wow.
She then started to talk a bit about her thinking. She threw a ton of compliments my way and said that she fully accepts 50% of the blame for where we are today. We both made mistakes and it is time to put the past behind us. I agreed 100%.
She said that she is not ready to fully re-commit to our marriage, but things are heading in the right direction. She said several times... "there is a reason I am here."
I did not push, but agreed with almost everything that she said. We talked about what life would be like if we got back together. We both agreed that our daughter would be priority #1. She also said that she realized that she had been drinking way too much over the past 2 years. She barely touched her glass of wine at dinner.
It really was a very nice quiet romantic date. We even were making out at the table a few times! I know the owner and he reserved the entire balcony just for us. I think she really appreciated that I took good care of her tonight. She also said that she knows who I married and she must let me be a man.
I walked her to her car. We made out again and then we both said I love you.
She suggested that we do something as a family on Sunday. I said... perfect.
She also asked me to take things easy - no text messaging blasts or tons of emails. Just let nature run its course.
I agreed.
I then told her that I was heading our for the night and she told me to have a good time and that she would call me this weekend.
I think I handled this well. Got nervous with the R talk, but it seemed to be flowing so I went along for the ride.
Fish, first of all, congratulations. I think you know this - I know how you feel!
You have been handed a second chance on a golden platter. Learn from what she has told you, and from what you have learned about yourself.
Do everything she asks...and read between the lines for the rest.
You are not "back together"...you can still run it off the rails.
But, all that being said - I am so happy for you. I look forward to comparing notes as we work so hard to let our Ws believe in us again.
Well done, sir.
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
Way to go! Take it easy. Don't get ahead of yourself. Let her continue to lead.
I kinda always thought there was hope for you - even when you didn't. I was right and you were wrong. (I know, I'm 12).
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
We had an amazing night and it felt like old times, but I am a bit sad today.
After getting a little taste of romance with the "W" it makes me realize how much I miss her and my daughter. I wish I was back home right now. I am tempted to call W and thank her for coming to dinner, but I am holding off.
We get along so well. I wish she would just end this bullsh*t and move forward.
I totally understand the feeling of sadness. When my W and I first separated, it was horrible after she would leave. I would be so sad, for the reasons you pointed out.
A couple times I did email or call to say what a nice time I had - inevitably it would backfire (she would be cool toward me) and I would feel worse.
Learn from my mistake. Play it cool and calm. It is obvious that she is wanting to come back, so sit back and let it happen on HER terms. Be patient, fish. You have your whole life ahead of you, what's a few weeks in the grand scheme of things?
I would like to connect with you off-line. EDITED, EMAIL ADDRESS NOT ALLOWED I agree, right now I have to move at her pace. The problem is that she has indicated that she needs to let me be "the man." So it's a tough balance between having patience/DBing and being myself. On one hand she wants space, but on the other it seems as if she wants me to pursue her.
