I locked up another thread. Does anyone know how I can add my last thread to this new one?
W came to kids soccer game with us today. She was really pushing my buttons by being on the phone and texting the whole time. You guys would be really proud of me, I did not say one thing. One the way home she wanted to shop at Cold Water Creek. I hate to shop but S and I were so patient it was unreal. We were really good as we sat there and waited for an hr. I really bit my lip. Tonight she is cooking us dinner. Now she is out getting a Fax at the office. It really bothers me when she does this cause it is just an excuse to get out of the house and maybe (trying not to assume) a chance to call OM. But I don't think she is in close contact with him anymore but who knows. I am doing a great job detaching and we are getting along really well. The only thing that bothers me know is since I moved to the quest room I have not had one hug or kiss. I really miss that and really, really want to ML. I also have a funny feeling she has been talking to her lawyer but that is just a gut feeling, my gut is usually very good. How am I doing.
Your actions sound good. Now, you've got to work on your thought process.
Sweetie, you need to let go of what she may or may not be doing and why. The anxiety that build up needs to be worked off somehow. I know it takes time and you're doing well.
If it makes you feel any better (which I doubt, but just for contrast) my H and I sleep in the same bed still and it's been a loooong time since we've ML or kissed. I hugged him this morning (he didn't respond) b/c he'd done something nice and I was saying thank you. So, that has to count in the hug dept. I figure every few months I can try without it coming of as persuing.
Even if she's talke to her L, you don't know what was said. Sadly, we don't get the answers until we do.
I am kinda bummed. I just found a note in her room to ask her Lawyer about:
Separation agreement & how long Kid's Custody What account bills get paid out of And if she should give me my grandmothers wedding ring back
I'm kinda bummed. I thought things were going well yet she is really trying to push my buttons. I have been really good. But I guess she is delaying calling her lawyer to ask these things or she can not get a hold of her? It has been a week since she said at MC that it was over. Your thoughts please.
I am kinda bummed. I just found a note in her room to ask her Lawyer about:
Separation agreement & how long Kid's Custody What account bills get paid out of And if she should give me my grandmothers wedding ring back
I'm kinda bummed. I thought things were going well yet she is really trying to push my buttons. I have been really good. But I guess she is delaying calling her lawyer to ask these things or she can not get a hold of her? It has been a week since she said at MC that it was over. Your thoughts please.
I am kinda bummed. I just found a note in her room to ask her Lawyer about:
Separation agreement & how long Kid's Custody What account bills get paid out of And if she should give me my grandmothers wedding ring back
I'm kinda bummed. I thought things were going well yet she is really trying to push my buttons. I have been really good. But I guess she is delaying calling her lawyer to ask these things or she can not get a hold of her? It has been a week since she said at MC that it was over. Your thoughts please.
All you did was find a note. You're making assumptions and conclusions based on very little information. You probably shouldn't have been looking around. Everytime I poked around looking for stuff I always managed to find somthing that would upset me.
Try to focus on what you do know...that things seem to be going well. And keep doing the things that have led you to this point.
I know you hurt and you miss the physical part of the relationship. We all do. It's been over a year since I ML. Like Grace, a nice hug makes me feel like a million bucks. And I think of all those times when I took a hug or kiss for granted...
Just know that you will get better at being able to detach. It takes awhile, but if she's worth waiting for, you'll find a way.
Hang tough...
Bomb
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
Thank Bomb and Grace, you guys arec pillers of stability for me. I think she left the note in a place that I would find it. I a book that we are both reading(Men are from Mars).I really was not snooping but am upset I found the note. Will have trouble sleeping tonight. I'm bummed!
Weekend: Friday night we went out to dinner, Soccer S12 all day today, she is cooking us dinner now, skiing tommorrow or soccer again and Harlem Globtrotters Monday. All with her. Is this to much time with her. Mostly all her idea.
How you react to that note is your choice. You can choose to react by feeling bummed and having trouble sleeping.
Or...
You can choose to ignore it. Or you can choose to think she just did it to rattle you, and go on about your life.
Also, the sleep thing: I discovered that I always had a harder time dealing with the stress and coping when I was tired. I also tended to exaggerate little issues and misinterpret her actions and words. In short, things always look worse when you're tired.
My doc gave me some Ambien when I knew I was going to have trouble sleeping. Works like a champ.
Let's see...my weekend plans. Wifey just called to tell me she's going out with the girls for awhile tonight. One of my coworkers is in a band that's playing in a bar just down the road. I'll probably go check them out later.
Tomorrow I'll do laundry, grocery shop, and maybe see if I can get out with the camera. I also need to print a few more pics for the daughter-in-law's gallery. I sold a couple last weekend.
Oh...almost forgot...and take a nap.
bomb
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
Thanks Bomb..I have chosen to ignore cause she left it in such a place that I would find it and it would rattle me. I wonder why she is testing me so much? Boy, I thought we were doing so well.
Just had a nice dinner together. Nice conversation, no R or D talk. Even spilt some milk without and issue.
