Thanks everyone. As everyone on OC is feeling today....it's my first VD without WAW an I am torn to pieces. Not even a VD wish from her at all. Just like everyone with a WAW..I just don't get it. I completly understan why she left but I just can't accept why all my cahnges to spark anything with her at all. I have become the man that she always wanted. Even her friends ar saying to me now that they jut don't get it. I read all the OC posts and have the DR so I know all of it. But like many I just can't seem to understand what she is feeling. When I am with my 2 little kids 3 days a week, I look at them and say to myself why are we not a family. I don't understand how see can't feel the same way. Life marches on.
Me/W: 46/36 D7.6/S6 T/M: 7.5/6.5 Bomb 12/05/07 D final: 03/03/09
I haven't had time to read your sitch (I'll try to catch up later when I have some extra time.) I think if you've been "clingy" recently or contacted her a lot it's best not to text anything, but if you haven't spoken or texted her in awhile a friendly "Hey, hope you have a fun V. day!" is okay and can be good... like a sign of goodwill and a little reminder or your existence and what a nice person you are. You could even make it sound like a "mass texting" that you've sent out to all your friends. For example, if she texted back and asked about it or what it meant you could always say, "I just wanted to say Happy V. Day to all my friends.... and you, being the mother of my child I will always consider a friend. Anyhow, I really hope you have a great day."
And then, if you have child with you do something really special tonight. And if you don't have child with you do something very special for yourself!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Thank you everyone. I am just falling apart today. I think I have been crying now for an hour.I look at the photos of my kids and just don't get it my unconditional love for them makes my needs second to theirs. I don't understand how WAS can be so selfish. They all seem to justify it's better for the kids. It's not! Thanks again so much !!!!!!!!
Me/W: 46/36 D7.6/S6 T/M: 7.5/6.5 Bomb 12/05/07 D final: 03/03/09
Definitely don't respond today.... in fact, don't respond tomorrow either. If she calls or bothers you reply CHEERFULLY, "Oh gosh, I've been meaning to get back to you, but I've just been so busy...." and then go on to talk to her in a cheerful way. Do not agree to anything until you speak with your lawyer or a lawyer. And BE POSITIVE. I know that's easier said than done. But you need to be a actor!!! Do not let her know you are falling apart. Do that alone.
And if you feel like you are going to break down or lose it while talking with her then make some excuse that you have to go. You have a friend over and can't talk on the phone. I don't say it's a guy friend or give out any names. Your life should not be an open book to her.
Today/tonight, do something very special for yourself. Stay busy!!! Maybe if you have some unattached buddies to go out with, or even just taking yourself out and then going to a bookstore or sports bar or anywhere else you would want to go....
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
