I have read the "retrouvaille answers prayers" thread and am impressed, though it is very hard to believe that my marriage can be saved or, rebuilt.
My wife has agreed to attend a retrouvaille weekend. She said she is willing to attend. She knows nothing about it, only what I have told her. Before I start my questions, let me tell all of you that SHE IS COMPLETELY TAKEN WITH HER MARRIED BOYFRIEND AND HAS TOLD ME THAT SHE IS WILLING TO THROW AWAY ME, THE MARRIAGE, HER PETS AND HER HOME TO BE WITH THIS GUY.
We are still separated and will be for some time. At least she is willing to go. From what I hear, that is half the battle.
So, here are the questions:
What if one of the spouses is currently involved in an EA/PA? Will that make a difference to the retrouvaille coordinators?
What other things are done besides communication skill activities?
How spiritual is it?
What if(I'm sure this is quite common) one spouse wants out of the marriage, and doesn't "want to work at it"? Is just getting them through the door enough to get the ball rolling?
Is retrouvaille good for couples who are seeking an amicable split?(My wife's question, of course!)
Do a search for "Some reflections on Retrouvaille" by GG. The thread started on 9/27/99 and went thru 11/6/99. I don't recall the forum.
I asked my wife to attend on Sunday and am awaiting her reply. Not getting an immediate "NO" was nice for now. I'm just gearing myself to get a negative response and look at a "YES" as a fabulous thing to have happen.
Keep on DBing your heart out. You've come a long way! I'm proud of you...
carl I have been following your story and want to wish you good luck. The fact that your wife has said she will go to Retrouvaille is awesome! I tried and am still trying to get my H to go but its not happening. When I called they did tell me there cannot be any 3rd parties involved when you go because both parties have to be totally committed. But keep trying anyway! lisa
Carl, I've been doing A LOT of research into retrouvaille, and it's ALL been positive feedback. I think the fact that she is willing to consider it is a huge step. I would call the phone number for the city you will attend and ask some questions. They were helpful on the phone. My STBX kept saying no without even considering it, but 2 days ago actually asked me about it. She still won't go, but she is seriously considering it. Good luck.
I attended Ret. last July. It was great experience although in my case it didn't result in a rebuilt marriage. One of the things that they tell you is that by the end of the weekend, you'll know if the two of you have the tools to rebuild or not. This is absolutely true. The organizers do tell both spouses on the phone that there should not be a 3rd party in the picture. My prayers are with you and I hope you find it to be a positive experience. One of the neat things for me is that I've decided to recommit to the Catholic faith as a result of the weekend so I feel both blessed & lucky that I was able to attend.
