As you know, the way I feel about this is -- that no matter what "name" anyone puts on it -- they are all just a SPIRITUAL CRISIS. So WAS or MLC or JERKS who cares what we call them!!
There may be a way to move a thread to another forum -- but what I've seen many people do is just have a tread in several forums. I think eventually they see where they get the most responses -- or the most useful responses -- and then end up just having one thread in one forum.
I think maybe you should try that -- put a thread in a couple of forums and see what happens. Maybe you will want to have different threads in different forums -- or you may just end up choosing one forum for your thread.
At least for now since you seem to be seeking...I would suggest putting it up in MLC and We're separated -- what now? Though I think that the We're Separated -- What Now? forum is mainly for newly separated people.
But try it or try several other forums and see if you get new posters and new eyes to view your situation. You can always just abandon the extra threads eventually and stick to the one you find most comfortable and helpful.
But remember that God knows where you are anyway -- so anywhere you are -- He will make sure to send the right posters to you!
BTW did you see that Erin's new website is finally up today?? It is called Encouraging Women.
Summer, Yeah, maybe I should try multiple threads. Other than MLC and Separated, there aren't too many to choose from. It would be nice to be in Piecing but I don't qualify yet. Thanks for the link to Erin's website. I took a quick look and was looking for a picture of her. It would be nice to see what she looks like. This is the first time I visited her website, to be honest. Will have to spend more time checking it out.
Look under "CLASSICS" -- those were the books that truly changed my life and taught me everything. I have virtually all the books -- and they used to also be available on audio and video tapes -- which I also bought.
Being able to listen to them is a never ending wealth of knowledge. Each time I listen to them I learn something new.
She has an amazing understanding of this subject matter. Some of the books are also available on amazon. The audio tapes may still be available too. Check on amazon and under their used books section too. They are worth buying!!
Summer, Thanks for the links. You may have given me the old site's link. It may be that I didn't get around to checking it out. How do you think those books would help me now, given I have already read so much in terms of DBing, and others? Are the 2 books the highest on your list that you recommend for me?
Yes the 2 books I linked to on amazon are the 2 most important books. There is SO much scriptural advice and such wisdom in those books.
They are just in a different league than any other material I have found.
DB is wonderful life material. But Erin's books are so geared to a God-based marriage restoration blueprint.
I mean it literally...those resources CHANGED MY LIFE.
I found Erin a bit after DB. And in tandem they both offered valuable fabulous life strategies.
Long ago, Erin used to personally answer her emails -- and I still treasure the one she wrote me -- after I wrote her about my disastrous run in with my xH.
Her words turned my life around...
I truly think that once you read her books you will truly GET everything that is happening. You will understand it all -- and thus be able to relax and to trust in God's plan -- and His timing -- without such impatience and frustration.
They certainly turned my whole thought pattern around. Her books led me to the path of forgiveness and understanding. It was after finding her site that I stopped planting seeds of anger -- and instead started to plant seeds of loving kindness that can lead to restoration.
What has happened since is like night and day.
I saw healing MIRACLES in both my son's relationship with his dad and my relationship with my xH.
Erin has a gift. Her examples are so honest and down to earth -- it just makes it all so clear. I do think you should get the books. They are not a repetition of other source material.
Take a look and see what you think. Her old site was fabulous -- 100% devoted to marriage restoration FOR WOMEN. This new site has a broader message. See if you can still access some of the old site.
I hope her new site will still be a valuable place to visit.
Summer, I just downloaded those 2 books and will print them for easier reading. Wow, that was so good of Erin to respond to your email. I am curious what words she used that were so powerful that they changed your life. I know that that might be too personal to share. That's OK - I understand and don't have to know. I guess there must be a reason for me to run into Erin's books. God's been showing me this week things here and there about me that still needs work and that is important for my M to work, one of which is trusting my H. Trust is such a hard thing for me, based on what I had to deal with (from an infant until my S). Yep, I am continuing to work on it, and yet be careful to not trust prematurely.
I am so glad you downloaded the books. I wish the audio tapes were still available -- b/c listening to Erin talk on the tapes is so friendly and comfortable. It is like listening to your best friend. She is just so "girl friend-y" in her style. If you ever can find them available online BUY THEM.
What Erin did was to offer me hope and understanding.
She offered me great insight about what had happened at the encounter with my xH -- and she completely analyzed the encounter and explained it to me.
She told me that while I had indeed -- very sadly very much missed an opportunity that God had provided to me and my xH -- it wasn't the end. And she explained to me just how much God had revealed to me about my xH's feelings for me through this encounter.
And much more importantly -- that God had used the encounter to reveal to me -- just how much MORE work I still needed to do -- if there was ever going to be a restoration possible.
Up until that point, I truly thought I was 100% ready for restoration.
That I had already done all the work I would ever need to do! And in truth...I HAD indeed done a lot of work and made many changes.
BUT...after finding DB and Erin...I now knew I had SO MUCH more work to do...so many more changes to make -- SO much more maturing to do.
It turned out that I was actually only just at the BEGINNING of the journey...NOT the end!
Quite a stunning and humbling awakening!
I was learning that it wasn't enough to understand it all intellectually -- but that I was now being called upon to ACT -- to demonstrate by my choices -- that I could actually LIVE by God's word and principles.
Believe me...there is a huge difference from the intellectual level of understanding -- to moving to the actual DOING it level.
And not just doing it once...but forevermore.
That the changes weren't for show...they had to be integrated into the very essence of my being.
For me, it was the beginning of learning about surrender.
And obedience.
And trust.
And faith.
And patience.
And self-containment.
And self-restraint.
And unselfishness.
And very importantly...I had to start DEMONSTRATING unconditional love BEFORE I saw one drop of change or kindness from my xH.
And THAT was VERY difficult to do.
That is the truest 180 in the world that anyone who has been betrayed and devastated -- will ever have to choose to make.
I have changed SO MUCH...and I just look back in astonishment at how far I've come -- and in total disbelief that I thought way back then that I had "arrived" -- when in reality -- I was just about to begin the greatest journey of my life.
I think the most valuable lesson -- out of a treasure trove of lessons -- is that I now fully understand that the goal and focus was not ever supposed to be on my marriage being restored.
If that had happened it would have been a side benefit.
What I know now is that the purpose of the journey was to establish my relationship with God as my primary focus.
And that once you put God first in your life...everything else falls into place. And with that understanding comes the greatest gift of all...peace.
Summer, That's awesome that you have learned and changed SO much. It is so wonderful that Erin took the time to help you see your need to change. Thank you SO much for sharing all of this with me, and for your honesty.
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And that is what I wish for you PH...peace.
Thank you. Yep, I sure need peace which I don't think I have ever felt much of in my life. It has been hard for me to trust God and I know this journey has been helping me with this. It's been very hard to see God's love to me as a father because I never even experienced fatherly or motherly love. Sad but true. I hope to be able to find as much benefit from those 2 books as you did. And will try getitng the audio tapes online. Thanks again for caring enough to reach out to me. As I posted before. God sent me an angel - you. ((((Summer))))
Why don't you email or call Erin's new site and ask if there are possibly any audio tapes still available to buy. I don't know if she has any left -- but Erin would be the one to be able to help direct you to where to get them if there are any still around. Fingers crossed!
Here is the email address to contact Erin: office@encouragingwomen.org OR call: 1-888-721-5253
And thank you so much for your kind words. I truly hope that maybe something I write will impart something useful to you on your journey. And that perhaps I can direct you to some good resources.
And please know that your insight into my story certainly helped me a lot too! You have a wonderful gift of helping me to understand things in my situation.
Summer, I like your suggestion of contacting Erin to see if I can get a hold of the tapes. I will try emailing or calling.
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And please know that your insight into my story certainly helped me a lot too! You have a wonderful gift of helping me to understand things in my situation.
Thanks for letting me know this. I am glad I was able to help in some way.
I will never forget how, the first time I wrote you, when I wrote that I "happened upon your thread", you responded that there was a reason for our paths to cross. So right you were!
I want you to know (again) that I really wish for you the restoration of your M, even though I know you will be and are OK without it.
