thank yo so much for this information...My wife announced that our mariage was over in October last year, whilst we were on vacation. We still live in the same house together with our lovely children...it is so hard to follow your advice, and i must admit that I have fallen into may "hole"....but as I read this text I realised that she is definately going through a MLC...thank you again...it gioves my hope and extra patience, David
But what if things were getting better and something in the family came up that made him realize how much damage he has done and now it seems like he's starting the crisis all over again?
Now you have all the tools to read. Let us know how your doing and if you have any questions.
I suggest that you read the entire thread in the resources. You can also pick out some people and read their whole story.
The stages of MLC are a template which can only be laid over an MLCer's experience retrospectively. It's impossible to see the pattern until it has finished being laid or the crisis is complete.(nickel Cyrena). So do not be too concerned where your MLC'er is in this process. (Although my general guess is that they are in REPLAY)
Depression is the key to the whole thing and it is always present!
Believe none of what she says and 50% of what she does.
I would not ask her anything unless you can have no expectations. Sometimes asking them questions will be thought of as pressure. You do not want to do anything that can be thought of by your W as controlling or pressure.
Lets not worry about her. Lets work on you! Start your homework assignments. GAL. Detach the single most important thing to DO. Use the time that your W has given you as a gift to start to work on yourself.
Knowledge is Power.
Thanks to Cadet.
Last edited by job; 06/23/1609:38 AM.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
What does "Lovingly Distance" mean? What should I do? Do you mean that I will not initiate calls, meetings etc? Or should I even refuse a meeting if he suggests it?
Thanks!
Me: BW 30 Him: WH 31 T 12 years, M 3.5 No kids OW 27 single ex co-worker
Bomb: 13/07/2011 S: 13/07/2011 - 16/09/2011 H came Home 16/09/2011 Dday: 01/10/2011 H left again 23/11/2011
Question? I've done the 180, very limited contact, given him space, no calls, emails only considering son. But I did mail him the letter of release. He has not responed, not one peep. He is also withdrawn from most friends and hardly socializes; probably drinking alone. I am patient, but very very worried.... Any suggestions?
I saw you started a thread in Newcomers. If you have read the resources posted above and think that you might be dealing with an MLC I suggest you start a thread on this forum.
The advice here is directed to that circumstance.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
This site has proved to be very valuable to me, my h hasn't come back yet but I am gradually seeing glimpses of him coming out of the fog,although I know this will come and go . I come here several times to keep me on track and not do or say something to send him back. Right now he seems to find excuses to come by and stays longer each time, I just don't want to get impatient and backslide so I come here to get reminded of what not to do. Thank you
My husband hasn't left yet, he told me the typical, something is missing, I never really felt love, I'd like to be happy 11 days ago, I cried asked him to think this over, and could we get counselling, NO to the counselling. The next day I asked for a hug, he did, and said I'm sorry... and since then radio silence on the topic. I've been doing my thing, trying to cope, find things to do with my time, cry alone, keep things together.. But I'm not sure the STATUS.. we have been married for 26 years. Not sure what my next move should be, I feel if he moves out, its hopeless. BTW we share a house now, and own one that vacant he could easily move there. Our sons bday is the 17th.. I'm sorta thinking he's hanging around until then...confused
