Fran If BB is big on these books maybe it is because SHE is the co-de. She is projecting on to you Lou when she starts calling you controlling or needy. BB was a med nurse at a treatment facility that had a 28 day in patient program. BB over learned all of the terms and heard all of the Co-dependent people’s stories and tries to never be Codependent herself.
My take is, some of the recovering Co-dependent’s go too far the other way and become self-centered.
I saw the reversal happen (co-dependent to self-centered) to a few people I observed in college
Something from a SSM male friend on another forum:
By Dewpoint:
"Just a little sumpin' I wrote to the tune of 'Hotel California'. (With apologies to The Eagles)
"Hotel MidLife Crisis"
When you get close to 50, start losing your hair And your vision gets blurry, from out of nowhere And your job is a prison, and your sex life's no prize And you wonder what life's all about. Are you just chasing lies?
Once again Monday morning, comes the 6 AM bell And you're thinking to yourself ‘This ain't heaven, it seems more like hell’ And you drive on the highway, check for tunes that they play But strange voices on the radio, all join in to say…
Welcome to the Hotel MidLife Crisis It's a crazy place, a confusing space Plenty of room at the Hotel Midlife Crisis All your deepest fears, get exposed right here.
You might buy a new sports car, or a Mercedes Benz Maybe find a pretty, pretty girl, that you'll call 'friend' Hold her close on the dance floor, work up a sweat And you never remember, what you choose to forget
Then you call to the desk clerk, ‘Please give me my key’ He says: ‘Here you are Mister Midlife sir. Room 623’ But still those voices are calling from far away, Listen hard when you shut your eyes, and you'll hear them say…
Welcome to the Hotel MidLife Crisis It's a crazy place, a confusing space Livin' your life at the Hotel Midlife Crisis You'll rewrite the truth, while you mourn your youth
Staring at the ceiling; pretty girl beside She says: ‘Let's do this again tonight, that would be very nice’ You go into the bathroom, and stare into the mirror But you can’t see that whatever you do, you can't escape the years.
Later on you'll remember, as the fog drains from your head The selfish way that you acted, and angry words that you said. And in despair you'll try to think, how did things get so bad? You never found what you were looking for… And you lost what you had!"
Sorry, Lou, I know how much we keep hoping someone will assure us there's cheese at the end of that tunnel if we're just patient and do all the right things.
Remember a while ago when some of us were telling you that you should go on a cruise???
Remember a while ago when some of us were telling you that you should go on a cruise??? I think about going on a cruise by myself often but also think about other potential inappropriate forms of relationships that might tempt me, even if I know one should end one R before starting any other form of R.
I really don’t have to have anyone go places with me when I do go most places. I go out for lunch often alone. Might do it more if it didn’t look like I was selfish.
Not a good week. BB and I had some disagreements and I brought up if I did get rid of everything, I might be going on mini-trips. BB said she wants to stay home.
My whole point was, if I don’t have much to keep me at home, I wasn’t going to sit at home and be a pet daddy like she wants to be a pet mommy.
The distance between BB and daughter and GKs continues to cause conflicts. Oh well.
