Inspired by the halftime show at the Super Bowl...
I won't back down from doing what is right for me. I no longer have a passionate desire to save the marriage. Only to save myself, and my kids. And I won't back down.
I haven't posted in a while because, well, there isn't much to say. Really not much going on here... like a lot of us, still living in limbo.
I've been going to they gym regularly, about 3 or 4 mornings a week. I do around 7 miles on on the treadmill, then lift weights. And... well, going to the gym has had its benefits. It has opened my eyes to the potential that exists with my upcoming divorce. OK, I'll admit that when I go to the gym, there is a particular woman who catches my eye. She shows up around 7:00AM and provides me with sufficient motivation to keep me comin' back. And once my divorce is final, she will be mine. I know her name, but I don't know where she lives. I know that she is married... but I will not be deterred. She's older than I am, but I don't mind (hope she doesn't mind a younger man). Beautiful? Oh yeah. Her name... is Denise Austin. When she comes on Lifetime TV at 7:00 for her daily exercise show.... I just wanna keep on runnin'...and runnin'... << ahhh >>. Once the D is final...she will be mine.
OK, seriously, things are going well for me personally, although my marriage is crumbling. The wife ignores me most times, speaking to me only when she needs something or in response to what I say to her. I maintain PMA in spite of all of this. And while typing this, she called. She needs something. Welcome to my world...
I intend to ignore Valentine's Day this year. I have no doubt that she has purchased something for Shrek, as her car was locked in the garage after her shopping trip on Saturday (usually she leaves the keys in the ignition when parking in the garage). And, no I wasn't snooping. I needed to move it, and I had little reaction when I found out (she was with me at the time). And I strongly suspect that she will be meeting him this week for some afternoon delight. She is going out of town for a week (with her father) on Friday.
Her paranoia grows, and she has threatened to prosecute me for bugging her car. She just needs to find the bug. Although I didn't say this to her, I find it surprising that she wants the father of her children in jail. I have told her many times in the past that her car is not bugged, so I didn't even mention it this time.
We have split our finances, but continue to disagree about some bills. Details are not important... but it's clear that she doesn't trust me. With a smile on my face, I pointed out the irony: "Isn't the irony delicious? You don't trust me?? Isn't that backward??" She didn't see it....
I will not be able to do Memphis, as I will be in Dallas that weekend. Too bad... wish I could go...
She has an appointment to see her lawyer tomorrow. Don't know if she's gonna pull the trigger or not. I kinda wish she would just get this thing started... and ended. Cuz I gotta date with Denise....
Man you are one strong guy... My sitch is soo tame compared to yours..... Don't know how well this would go over but you should go get some plastic bugs and put them allover the outside of her car.....If she is acusing you ya might as well do it right?? jus to show her how stupid that sounds. Ya scared me for a moment when ya started talking about seeing a married woman. I should have know better that you would not stoop to such a leavel but stranger things have happened...
late
Manuel
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
When you started talking about a married woman, I thought you were morphing into my H, but I should have known better! I like the plastic bugs idea too! It's funny how divorce/thoughts of divorce brings out the paranoia, once H accused me of bending an envelope from one of his parents (like the post office doesn't do that every day or something???)Karen43
When I was going thru all my chit with my wayward wife, song lyrics helped get me thru. Even posted two whole threads of 'em on the SSM board. But yours reminded me of this favorite:
"I Will Not Go Quietly" Don Henley
Woke up with a heavy head And I thought about leavin town I could have died if I wanted to- Slipped over the edge and drowned But, oh no baby, I wont give up so easy Too many tire tracks in the sands of time Too many love affairs that stop on a dime I think its time to make some changes round here Yeah, Im gonna tear it up Gonna trash it up Im gonna round it up Gonna shake it up Oh, no, baby, I will not lie down Im brave enough to be crazy Im strong enough to be weak I see all these heroes with feet of clay Whose mighty ships have sprung a leak And I want you to tell me darlin Just what do you believe in now? Well, cmon over here baby You bout to gimme a heart attack I wanna wrap my lovin arms Around the small of your back Yeah, and Im gonna pull you, pull you, pull you Pull you right up close to me Yeah were gonna tear it up We gonna trash it up Gonna round it up Gonna shake it up Oh, no no no, I will not lie down Turn this thing around I will not go quietly I will not lie down I will not go quietly I will not lie down I will not go quietly I will not lie down I will not lie down Well, dont you ever get lonely? Dont you ever get down? Dont you ever get tired Of all the wicked tongues in this town? Of, baby, I just wanna take you away from here I aint no tiger I aint no little lamb Suppose you tell me mama Who do you think I think I am? And ooh baby, dont you give a damn? Yeah, Im gonna tear it up Gonna trash it up Gonna round it up Gonna rip it up I will not lie down Yeah Im gonna tear it up Gonna trash it up Gonna round it up Gonna shake it up Oh baby I will not lie down Turn this thing around I will not go quietly I will not lie down I will no go quietly I will not lie down I will not lie down
[/quote]I haven't posted in a while because, well, there isn't much to say. Really not much going on here... like a lot of us, still living in limbo. [quote]
Boy do I know what you are saying here but , my sitch is a lot differant and is in piecing. still the same Limbo though.
I thought about that song when watching the half time too. Oh so true.
I DID keep an open mind to the married women thing. Coudn't even drem you would do that.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
If you are ready to have her file, have you considered filing? If she won't pull the trigger, how long will you wait and suffer?
mc -
I will not file, if only for the principle. I have told her that the message that I deliver regaridng the divorce to the kids will be, "Mom is not happy, and she thinks she will be happy if she divorces me." I can't say that if I initiate the action.
I am OK. It's not bad at home. It's not good, either. The only person suffering seems to be her. She is miserable, because her true love lives 350 miles away and she is stuck with a louse like me... Too bad...
