...every time my baby asks why Daddy isn't coming home or where he's at.. I hope their happiness is worth all of this..
Huge argument yesterday regarding parenting time. At my request, we now have the next couple of months down in writing. H will be gone every weekend but will not be staying overnight at ow's house on his weekends with D4. I get to stay in the house. That's a relief anyway.
I am already so depressed about next weekend. It will be the first time without my baby... I can hardly stand the thought of it.. help...
...every time my baby asks why Daddy isn't coming home or where he's at.. I hope their happiness is worth all of this..
I always wonder that same thing myself. The OW's and OM's I guess tend to be selfish and self-centered types I suspect. The OW in my case has her own kids and I don't know how she spends all that time with my H and texting him without neglecting her children?
Glad you got the parenting time worked out. It sounds like you have got to make plans for the next weekend. I know that will be very rough! Do you have someone, a family member or friend you can spend the weekend with or something like that? I don't think I would want to be alone, but you may feel differently of course. I definitely would want to try to be busy, have fun, try to keep my mind occupied, etc. Karen43
LO, My heart would be breaking, too. Make some plans. Get together with family and friends. It is going to be hard so get some support for yourself.
Do you think your D will do ok? After spending so much time with you, this may be hard on her, too. I'd be available to get her in case she doesn't do well.
Oh this is harder than an A, I swear. I get angry about the future. What my H wants (our D) will bring me less time with my kids. This is not fair to me. My heart hurts for you. Know she is with her Daddy, safe and having fun. SallyM might have some advice for you, as she has been separated for a bit and her H takes the kids on overnights to his mom's every weekend.
((((LO))))) I'm so sorry. My heart aches for you. I'm like Joie I think she will be wanting her mommy so I would definitely stay close. Be sure you don't mention anything to your H that you think it will be difficult on her, then he would try to prove a point if she did want you. Why can't they see what they are doing to their babies?
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
LO, you'd think by now, after seven months, that I, a daddy not a mommy even, would be used to having to leave my two little boy's at the other residence and not see them for a while. Not so. While I'm no longer torn to pieces over this like I used to be, I still get that huge tug on my heartstrings whenever I have to part with my little ones.
It will hurt, especially in the beginning, but you will survive. You must. You have to stay strong for D4.
(((HUGS))) I'm so sorry, I know how hard this all is. its awful...the A and betrayals are bad enough, but this is just a whole new level.
my kids started going on sleepovers to daddy's house back in june. it was horrible at first. I spent the first weekend bawling my eyes out. then I learned that I really needed to make plans each weekend or I would go crazy. for the next few months I cried every single friday after he picked them up. but then I would dry my eyes, get changed, and go out and GAL. or sometimes I would stay in, but had definite plans. yes, I rearranged all the furniture, I re-organized my basement, I did lots of stuff like that. I kept busy. that is key. and eventually I was able to slow down...read a book, go to a movie, etc. But at first I couldn't focus, so had to keep moving.
I'll tell you, it was bizarre those first few weekends because I simply wasn't used to having free time. it was very disconcerting and threw me off. but then I started taking the bull by the horns, forced myself to reconnect with old friends, and to make new ones, and to make plans and after a few months I discovered something...I LIKED having free time. I liked being able to rediscover myself and things I liked to do separate from being a wife or a mother. don't get me wrong, I still hate that my kids leave, but after a while (probably sept or october) I stopped crying when they left, and the time that they were gone rushed by...instead of a day seeming like a week, it seemed like an hour.
it is not easy at first. but in the end, just know it will be what you make of it. look for the silver linings. fake it till you make it. at the very least just understand how wonderful it is that your H still wants to spend time with her, and know that it is important for her that he they do.
a book I highly recommend to read to your is mama and daddy bear's divorce. Since H and I weren't talking d yet when we separated, I used my black sharpee and changed D to separation, and it is only used a few times so it wasn't a big deal. it is a really lovely, gentle book that might help your d understand that its okay to be sad that mommy and daddy aren't living together, and that even though they aren't, they still love HER and she can still do her favorite things with each of them.
if you get it, read it thru on your own a few times first. I bawled my eyes out the first few times. its hard when this is NOT what we want for our kids, or ourselves.
stay strong. you will be okay...we're here for you. (((HUGS))) feel free to e-mail me thru my profile. will be thinking of you.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
