To send a card or not-that is the question. My WAW has questions regarding if I love her or will just miss her. I have overlooked VD in the past and don't want the "to little to late" response either.
I know it goes against DB but everyone's situation is differnt-what are the veteran's opinions?
She often complained about my lack of romance in years past.
I bought a card, don't know if I'll give it to W. Definitely not a lovey-dovey card. The card is for someone on a personal or emotional journey. The verse inside says "the universe only wants what's best for you, and I hope you find it".
I was going to send a very small bouquet to her work, the card would say "every girl should get flowers on Valentines day", once again without the x's and o's, just from me. Just so she doesn't feel blue when all the other girls in the office get flowers.
Or I might do absolutely nothing, because she may see it as pressure or not getting space. We have been apart 5 weekends, and are on good terms.
Thoughts?
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
I am glad someone else is wondering the same thing. I too bought a "neutral" card that says simply that I am thinking about you and missing you. I have on a fairly regular-and for no apparent reason-sent her flowers at work. I too want to send flowers but am mindful of the "pursuing behavior" and need to be careful.
Yeah, I was also thinking of calling her in the morning on valentine's day, and saying I was thinking of her but thought it might make her uncomfortable to get flowers from me, then just feel out her response. She may appreciate that more, ie: respecting her request for space.
If you guys are separated I would be very cautious about sending flowers to work. From what I am told, when a woman gets flowers the other women flock around and ask "who are they from" and that puts your W in a very uncomfortable position. It says to all the other ladies "what a great guy, how'd she ever let him go". I think it could be viewed by her as not respecting what she's telling you..."gimme space!" and may actually be embarrassing to her at her workplace but that's just me...any other opinions out there? Now, again, it also depends where you are in your sitch and only you know that better than I. Btw, I'm giving and sending my W nothing, that's OP's job now. I might send myself some flowers though....or maybe one of those big cookie's with a message that reads "You've come a long way, baby!".
My W has a good friend at work (who is "rooting for us", so W tells me). I thought of secretly calling her and asking her opinion on the flower issue. Because she is hoping we get back together, I don't think she would tell W that I called.
To send a card or not-that is the question. My WAW has questions regarding if I love her or will just miss her. I have overlooked VD in the past and don't want the "to little to late" response either.
Your wife is probably not really asking if you will miss her but rather, can she do this and still expect you to be waiting around. She knows damn well you miss her.
Shame on you for ignoring Valentine's Day in the past! But let's not abbreviate it 'VD' - Mkay? .
I would say do something but don't be cheesy. Perhaps write her a letter, BY HAND. A short one. Just say that you will always love her and wish you had done a better job of it previously. If you want to, cut a heart out of red construction paper and glue it to your letter. Okay, I am joking about that last part. I'm feeling kinda sassy today.
Okay what about wives to H's. Do we as wives acknowelege VD?
I know for me it would be a complete 180 to simply ignore it. I have always done something extra special for him.
I want to do something, but H and OW are a couple (in secret) now. Not him and I.
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
Here's what my W said when I began my campaign of being more romantic, "Stop doing these things, you only do them because you know I like it!" Well, put a bullet in my head, what a bastard, eh! I think that story is vaguely related to the topic at hand Now the last post bomb card I sent her on Valentine's Day was a blank one where I wrote:
"For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it. Thank you for all the years you were there to love me"
She loved it! She rushed downstairs, took my head in her hands and kissed my forhead and then my lips. So feel free to steal that one guys, I did! It's from a poem by Ivan Panin, except the last verse which was my attempt at personalizing it. I thought it best to address the years she did love me versus that present moment where she didn't. Btw, send yourselves a big cookie too, you deserve it!
i was also wondering what to do. Only problem is I won't see my h and i don't know where he lives. could go to his work but that would be the only option.
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