Not much going on today, but wanted to start a new thread.
AND LIN.....It is not necessary to come all the way over to the east coast to slap me silly! But thanks for thinking of me. I will not be getting sucked back into this mess with H and OW. If OW thinks he is lying to her then she will have to figure it out on her own....
I have realized that he really needs to change before I would ever take him back....and right now all he is learning is that he can cheat and lie and that it is ok, because we keep taking him back. It is time he grew up! I know that he will not call himself a liar because he doesnt really lie in his opinion, he only tells part of the truth.
But what I hate and am having a problem with is knowing I have info that would make her dump him and cut all ties if she will stick to her word....but it would also make my H cut all ties with me. Or never talk to me again. Which isnt what I want....but I have been praying about it and have decided to let God handle what should be done. HE has the power to take her away from his life. Im praying that I can just be strong enough to continue standing, but also move forward with my life.
I know I am happy with me. Im not happy that my H isnt here, but I am happy with what I DO have. H cant be happy thinking OW doubts his word and doesnt trust him. OW cant be happy living with doubts. It will wear on them. I just have to go on Gods timeline.
So, trying to have a good day.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
But what I hate and am having a problem with is knowing I have info that would make her dump him and cut all ties if she will stick to her word
Kissak...what you know is she is not a person of her word...and it isn't up to you to break down their R...they don't need your help doing that...you can see when you stepped back how things started escalating...the mystery messages...her emailing you...etc...you don't have to do a thing...
Not to mention...you don't want him to come running back to you just because she kicks his butt to the curb...because history will just repeat...he won't be well...things won't be fixed...he needs time on his own...without his 2 women...without his W...he has issues only he can work out...so her finding out the truth really isn't the issue here...it is what he is going to do with his own life...and only time will tell...
Thank you Lin. I know this. I know that their R will have to break down in a healthy way for it to really end. I honestly am beginning to believe that she wouldnt stick to her word....she would take him back. She is weak and needy. My H knows however that I have promised my kids I wasnt going to let him do this again to us. But from what I have seen and heard from him, this cycle is really beginning to go around again.
....but it will stop with me. I have gotten strong enough over this past month to really look at things and know that something different has to happen, and he really needs to fix himself.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Just stand back. They've both got enough rope right now to hang themselves 12 times. It will happen. That relationship needs to come to its natural end. I found that out with FW.
Once we step back and allow things to play out with them the way they need to for the relationship to really be over then the healing can really begin. It can't until then.
You're doing much better.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
Thanks Grace and BFM....my H did tell me that he would rather their R end for other reasons versus her dumping him because he had been caught doing something he shouldnt....but in the end I think It will end because of the trust issue. I did talk to him a little last night at tkd...I know, I broke the NC rule, but it was insightful for me, and I still remained detached in a way. He asked about the emails the OW had sent to me. I guess she was upset that I didnt respond to her. He said she thought I was hiding something because I didnt respond...I told my H that I just rather her not contact me at all, that this was their problem and not mine. He agreed and said He knew he shouldnt have even told me about it. But he did say that he had been told that she was playing him and stuff and that he believed she was sending those unknown texts to herself. I just told him that it was all childish behaviour and i would rather be kept out of it. He agreed and said he was sorry. I did tell him that I wanted to know how either of them could really be happy with all that was going on? He didnt answer me. Said he couldnt. I let it go. I went home last night feeling pretty good. Nothing he said really had that much of an affect on me. I can see he isnt truely happy, but wants to be with her so badly he is blind.
Did get a bit of encouragment....in a way. An old man I know come in the shop today and he asked me how my love life was going! He knows me and my H are seperated, anyway, I said it was going the same...he said, I did see your H out the other day with this lady and him and his wife said the woman he was with looked so much older than him....LOL! He really went down the ladder! The old man gave me a compliment when he left, said I was looking good, then he said "of course, your mom and dad didnt make no ugly kids!" ( there are 5 kids in my family ) I was flattered! Made me feel good!!
I am the prize!! I think I will go and treat myself this weekend and get my hair done!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
My H came home last night, said he had dumped OW and never wanted to see her again, that it was me that he loved with all of his heart and he wanted to come back and grow old with me.........then I woke up! It was just a dream.
I have the kids this morning, my H had to work, so he brought them here. He will pick them back up after TKD....
I will spend the rest of the day working around the house.
Hope everyone has a good weekend!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
