My husband wants to reconcile. I use to post under a different name, but H and OW found me.
For the few around here who know my other ID, my H was once voted the worse on this board.
Now he has WILLINGLY agreed to the following: 1. Retrouvaille 2. cancelling his cell and getting back on our joint acct 3. Changing jobs (he works with OW) 4. Breaking his lease
He has been open re: his contact with OW, but I find myself in constant doubt. When he doesn't answer, I ALWAYS expect the worse. He is being very consistent, even when I lose it a little.
We have started to attend church regularly. He has admitted the A, apologized, and taken complete responsibility.
I am trying to decide if I want him to call her, with me present, and tell her he is recommitting to me and that there is absolutely no place for her on ANY level or if we should just change numbers and proceed.
Wow, Blanche. This seems to be a 180 in the past 12 hours. I think if you get through Retrouvaille you will know if he is really committed or not. Until then, I hope he will stop bouncing back and forth.
Well, we made it through our first Retro weekend. That program works miracles, it really does.
I don't have a lot of time, but we are reconciling. We are both wearing our rings. He has begun to tell me all the circumstances of the past.
I can not post with my other identity, because OW does check it regularly. I feel a little sorry for her. She is divorced and now in an "open" relationship with a man who doesn't care to be with her. She has an S9 who spends every other week with her while BF drinks and goes out with friends. For a time, she convinced my H this was how it was supposed to be.
He will be quitting his job. We are renewing our vows in August (he proposed during our weekend).
We are on the same page and are working to become a stronger unit than ever before. We have both made the CHOICE to COMMIT to do whatever it takes.
OW is already chasing him saying BS about how she's been through this, it won't work. Her son is fine and our kids will be fine too. H just has to "get over" me. She doesn't have a phone number for him, so she is tracking him down at the school (she's on vacation). He is being open about this, and we are handling it as a team.
I will share more later. I do find myself being insecure while he is at work. I hate it. I cant wait til he is out of there. However, I know that if this is for real, he will hold strong. IF he is not strong, then it would have just been a matter of time anyway.
You are amazing! Congratualtions on going to Retrouvaille. Yes, it can work miracles. But it is up to the couple. I am praying for you and your kids. I know it will be hard for your husband to stand up to her. But commitment is a choice, and if he truly makes the choice, then he can do it. Best of luck to you. It is hard to keep the negative thoughts out of your head. Just because you get them doesn't mean that they are right!
I totally agree with Sara about the negative thoughts thing - and they do reduce in time. I still feel a bit insecure at times but I know that it is what is going on in my head that is the problem - not H
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
