Long story short. Wife left August 2006. Came back February 2007. She decided again in November that she was going to leave. The first time she left, there was OM in picture. Second time, she said she never got over him and couldn't be with me. She told me after Christmas that she moving out in February. I went dark. Not initiating conversation with her, just let her do all the initiating. She pointed out a few times that she realizes I am not talking to her. I said I am just moving on.
Then two weeks ago, she informs me that she is quitting her job and will not be moving out. I said I am sorry to hear that and said nothing else. She says nothing else about it. She didn't quit her job, but she hasn't said anything else about moving out. She did tell S6 that she couldn't afford to move, but nothing to me.
Now, lately she has been initiating conversations with me. Just general topics and being nice. I still consider myself dark and I don't know if I should come out of it, and if I decide to come out of it, how do I do it? Why is she talking to me all of a sudden? Should I even be concerned about why? Do I stay dark and watch for a little while longer?
That's the thing. I feel myself getting better, but I don't know if it is helping my sitch any. I fell like I can let her go now and not be too concerned. Once that indifference sets in, and I actually stop caring, do I care what happens.
W is upset that I don't want to file taxes together. I feel like if we are separated, then we should be separate. I am tired of doing what she wants to do just to make her feel comfortable. She needs to feel uncomfortable. She has made use of the tax money the past two years to do whatever she wanted. It was supposed to be my year and i wanted to use it to fix up the house. She said that doesn't benefit her any since she is leaving. I said okay.
I know this is anti-DB, but I have to start my stand somewhere and it seems like the best place to start.
She told me last weekend that she is moving this weekend. She was nonchalant about it. I didn't act upset or anything. As of matter of fact she is signing her lease today. I want to ask her how she is going to make it seeing as her account is negative $700. But I am not going to. She has it in her mind that this is the best thing for her and that's all that matters right now.
On the plus side, I can start fixing the house the way I want to. i can get rid of that depressing gray color that's in the bedroom, cut back on the electricity and water bills, and once her stuff is gone, I will be able to park in the garage again.
So, I hate to see her move again, but this time I will use it to my advantage. The house project will occupy my time and maybe I will not focus on my failed marriage again.
W started moving her things today. I know I said I looked forward to fixing the house, but now it just seems like a shell. I will still fix it, because if i don't i will sit on the couch, get fat, and wallow in pity.
Goals:
1. Paint every room in the house a different color. Let the kids pick out the colors they want. 2. Shine wood floors. 3. Fix garbage disposal. 4. Fix deck. 5. Clean garage 6. Build a dog pen for the dogs
I have more but that should last me two months worth of weekends.
Can someone tell me how to stop thinking about W being with OM? She moved into her apartment over the weekend and he came down and spent the night with her on Saturday. He is also giving her money. Does this mean the marriage is over? If he is giving her money does that mean there is no coming back from that?
I know other have had this problem and maybe can advise on what they have done to stop thinking about it.
Well, The W is sick. She left her job and came here to "our" house instead of her new apartment. She is upstairs right now. I know she was with OM over the weekend and that upsets me. But now she is here, in the bed, sounding like she wants to cough up a lung. She keeps asking me to do things for her and I so badly want to tell her to go let OM take care of her.
I do not want to be a doormat, but I do not know how to tell her that since she moved out and left me, then she should expect me to take care of her.
