I feel so defeated....

[Starshyne]

After being away for a week, I come back home. He tells me that he wants to end the "friendship" with the OW and even though he knows it will be a hard thing to do, he knows he should do it. Alright....this sounds good. But I know better than to believe what he tells me.

And sure enough, he never came home from work. I assume he is with her and won't be home at all tonight. And while my mind knew this would happen, for some reason my heart was hoping otherwise. I just feel so defeated and alone. So instead of calling him right now and telling him how lonely I am feeling, I am writing this here.

Sara

[lodo]

Starshyne,

I'm really sorry you're going through this and I know the pain you're experiencing. You're doing the right thing by venting here instead of calling H. He's an alien right now and won't hear/understand what you're saying.

Take a deep breath, put him out of your mind, and take care of yourself. Read the advice on these boards - it will help you sort out what you're feeling.

Get ready because you're going to need a lot of patience and understanding if you want to get through this.

lodo

[LL44]

So instead of calling him right now and telling him how lonely I am feeling, I am writing this here.

Good for you. Right now, he needs space. Vent here, find support here.

Sounds like your H isn't making any decisions right now (to work it out, or leave) and that's ok. In the meantime, read Michele's books front to back and find things to keep you busy.

[chocolateeyes]

Some people have also found it helpful to write long e-mails -- but not send them.

And DON'T! (send them, that is).

Or simply journal.

[Ohio_Mark]

Yeah, no shortage of people who journal here....

Like me

[LL44]

And me

[Starshyne]

Yes, I have been filling up journal after journal myself. I just feel drained of all energy at the moment.

[Starshyne]

He is so confusing. After spending the night with her last night he comes home and tells me that he loves me and is going to end it with her. He kisses me and tells me what a good wife I am and how he wants to spend his life with me. Then he hugs and kisses me some more. But then he leaves again a hour later, most likely to see her. I dont' understand it....

Sara

[lester]

Think of it like he's on crack. He ain't gonna make sense until completely detoxed. +)

[Starshyne]

Think of it like he's on crack. He ain't gonna make sense until completely detoxed. +)

Alright...that sounds like a good way to look at things. He is a crack addict and needs more help than I will be able to give him. Stupid as I may be...I do feel better.

Sara