SuperDave is back and I have to say how delighted (disappointed) I am to see familiar names - you know who you are Hairdog & co! I haven't been here for three years or so but recently I found this fantastic personal improvement technique that really is life changing and thought of you guys. It is called the "Law of Attraction" or "The Secret". Forgive me if you have discussed this at length before but incase you haven't this is it in summary. Have you ever wondered why so few couples have perfect marriages or why 90% of the money is earned by 1% of the population? They know something that the rest of us do not. They know how to use the law of attraction. The law of attraction says that like attracts like. We spend years thinking and believing that our wives/husbands don't love us and we get no sex. Guess what? Our wives/husbands don't love us and we get no sex! The "Secret" says that what we are thinking now creates our future - "Thoughts become things". If we are thinking that we get no sex then by the law of attraction we are guaranteed not to get any. To change your life you must simply change your thoughts. You do it as follows: Step 1. Ask (the Universe) for what you want. In my case I asked for "Love and happiness". Ask only once as if you are ordering from a catalogue but be absolutely clear that it is what you want. Step 2. Believe that the thing you want is already yours even though it has not yet manifested. Do not doubt for one second that you will receive it. Step 3. Receive what you want. When you get yourself into the frame of mind that it is already yours you will receive it. Imagine the feelings of having it already and it will come to you. It actually does work. To gauge how well you are doing use your feelings. If you are feeling good then you are doing well and will attract good things to make you feel even better. If you are feeling down or depressed you will inevitably attract things that make you feel bad. If for some reason you feel bad, find something that can change your feelings in an instant. In my case I imagine riding my old motor bike. It makes me feel excited and so in a mindset to receive good things. OK that's the theory in a nutshell. What difference has it made to SuperDave? I had pretty much become a grumpy old man complaining about everything all the time and arguing constantly with W. We never agreed on anything. Physical contact between us was infrequent and meaningless. One day I was searching for audio books to listen to in the car as I do a lot of driving and I stumbled across "The Secret" - see http://www.thesecret.tv - and listened to it in my car. It was such a revelation that I have listened to it maybe 20 times over the last four months. I have now learnt that "Thoughts become things" and so train myself to only think about what I want and never think about what I don't want. I have stopped bringing up topics of conversation based on complaining about things and instead I try to put a positive spin on everything. I find that I attract much nicer people in everyday life and my interactions and confidence with people in business have improved. My relationship with W is also much better and our constant arguing has all but stopped. When an argument looks like starting I keep myself cool and don't get wound up. I lie in bed at night imagining myself living in an abundance of love and happiness instead of feeling sorry for myself for a lousy sex life and I'm certain that love and happiness will come. Try it yourself and see! SD xxx
SuperDave! Man...it's been a long time. Glad to hear things are going well for you. I have a couple questions for you about the cult Secret:
1. How long have you been practicing it. (You said you've been listening for four months, but I wasn't sure about when you actually "took the plunge.") 2. How's your sex life?
I think about you from time to time, and remember some pictures you shared of the 'conservatory' you built. I hope you're getting to spend some time in that special place...it really looked like a great space.
Glad you've found some happiness. If only we'd all known it was so easy!!
- Choc, who's feeling really down and skeptical today
P.S. Seriously, I do believe that our subconscious minds direct our conscious minds -- "you will get/become what you think about the most." And, to put it in SSM terms, I think if you commit, and visualize, sexual fulfillment in your life, you can create that reality for yourself.
I just don't think it's going to necessarily come via your SPOUSE, and therein lies the rub.
you are feeling down or depressed you will inevitably attract things that make you feel bad.
This actually happened a couple of days ago to my H. He came in the house just as grouchy, miserable and full of resentment as he ever was when he was still drinking. So much so that S8 said to me "do you think Daddy has started drinking again secretly?"
He went into the utility room to put his things in the dryer and suddenly I heard a scream (a manly scream of course). He'd electrocuted himself on the plug which was slightly loose.
The whole thing was just weird, he came in looking like a lightning conducter for bad stuff and sure enough that's what happened.
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
See how congruent you're being with your sig line, HD?
This 'Secret' thing irritates the living crap right out of me. It's not so much the "attract good" part .... look at how SuperDave has actually put that into practice: "If for some reason you feel bad, find something that can change your feelings in an instant. In my case I imagine riding my old motor bike. It makes me feel excited and so in a mindset to receive good things.....I had pretty much become a grumpy old man complaining about everything all the time and arguing constantly with W. .... I have stopped bringing up topics of conversation based on complaining about things and instead I try to put a positive spin on everything....When an argument looks like starting I keep myself cool and don't get wound up. I lie in bed at night imagining myself living in an abundance of love and happiness instead of feeling sorry for myself for a lousy sex life and I'm certain that love and happiness will come."
All good stuff, at least up to the point of total delusion, and certainly worth a determined try.
No, my problem comes with the inevitable corollary: if people attract positive things to themselves with positive thoughts, then people also attract negative things to themselves with negative thoughts. Ergo, if anything bad happens to you, you brought it on yourself. Granted, sometimes that's true .... a bad attitude hardly helps with interpersonal relations, whether they be at home, work, or with yourself. But cancer (ok, maybe, but the jury's still out, innit)? Car accidents? Being outsourced? Domestic violence? Rape and murder????? Give me a freaking break. What a pernicious worldview.
Hissssssssss (feeling quite catlike today).
That said, Superdave, I don't mean to rain on your parade, and I'm glad you've found something that's making a positive difference for you.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
Quote Kettricken "No, my problem comes with the inevitable corollary: if people attract positive things to themselves with positive thoughts, then people also attract negative things to themselves with negative thoughts." Absolutely. Negative thoughts are corrosive and gradually create the atmosphere that leads to SSM. Some years ago we had a lot of discussions about various books including SSM and Passionate Marriage and I'm sure that one of those books had the line "You get the relationship you deserve" and that has stuck in my mind. If you are constantly disappointed in your relationship you will attract more and more disappointment. We've all been there!!!
> This 'Secret' thing irritates the living crap right out of me. Hmmm... says a lot. Lighten up Kettricken SD
Hey hairdog. It has been a while. You've been posting here all this time haven't you you old rogue! If your marriage suddenly got amazing your fingers would suffer terrible typing withdrawal! Ah yes... Point 1. I've been a fully paid up member of the cult since September last year but believe me their forum is rubbish compared to this one. Point 2. The Friday night thing is still ongoing but between you and me I'm not so bothered these days. I read in one of your threads that you're not exactly gagging these days either. Actually I love W more than ever which is nice. Since I bought my new (old) bike it has deflected my attention somewhat. The bikes are so unreliable that there is a support network of old losers every bit as good as this one. If you'd like to see a photo of me and my bike(s) and me and W on our silver wedding day and some other stuff see http://www.flickr.com/photos/superdave156 SD
ChocIce! Good to hear from you but pull yourself together man.
>I just don't think it's going to necessarily come via your SPOUSE, and therein lies the rub.
It's exactly as Michele says. You can't change the other person you can only change yourself and hope - no expect - them to come along for the ride. It takes time yes but visualizing that future is a lot better than agonizing over the past failures and I have done that just as you have. All the best ChocIce SD
