NEED ADVICE- WAH wants to split $ tonight!

[Mom of 2 2B]

I posted this in newcomers but wanted to post here too in case this group has any good advice- quickly. Thanks! (I wrote it last night so change the dates to yesterday and tonight- he wants to discuss this tonight).

A week after my H dropped the bomb and left I put a hold on our largest investment account so that it will require both of our signatures to do anything. I had no idea what was going to happen and didn't want to take any chances. I told him I did this, but he apparently forgot b/c he called me yesterday furious that I had done this. Long story short, he realized that a) I probably told him and he forgot, b) I did this a week after the bomb when we weren't talking and things have since gotten much better (he was insulted that I did this based on our current R with decent communication), c) he was being a jacka$$. He called me 2x to apologize + texted with same.

Tonight he told me he was going to get the form to release the hold. I asked why- what did he need? (the original reason was supposedly tax forms- sounded odd to me since he usually does taxes at the 11th hour). He said he wanted to split the account. Again I asked why- he said he felt uncomfortable w/ the sitch, didn't know what was going to happen in the future (get back together, get D which he's saying he wants), and might want to buy a new computer, motorcycle, etc. and wanted the flexibility to do so. He said he was just going to split the account down the middle. I am uncomfortable with this b/c he is a lawyer + knows more about this stuff, I have been told that my state does NOT split down the middle (he says it does), we have newborn twins + I would think a D court/mediator would take that into account, et. Many factors to consider. Financially, he entered the M w/more $, but I worked while he went to law school F/T for 4 yrs, I have made substantially more than him for a long time, he has been unemployed several times, etc. Point being, I feel I contributed more than half.

I bought time by saying I wnnted to think about it + that I felt he was doing this to "punish" me for placing the hold. He hugged me + apologized, + texted an "I'm sorry for springing on you let's discuss tomorrow night." How do I handle this tomorrow? I'm very uncomfortable doing this w/ my lawyer H w/out my own legal advice, but also don't want to force the D issue as a result by hiring a lawyer and starting a big split of belongings. How do I DB while protecting myself? ADVICE PLEASE!!!

[Broken Tree]

no way. Get legal council ASAP.do not release anything. "Don't beleive anything you hear and half of what you see". Be very careful!

[fish]

M2B -

Wow, tough sitch. I think you may want to hold your ground on this one. Just tell him that you are not ready to start dividing the marital assets. If he needs money the two of you can discuss a solution.

I cannot believe your husband would walk out on you right before the birth of your twins. Incredible!

Take it slow, be cool and keep DBing.

This is a tough one.

[Virtually_Handsome]

I would say that it either stays like it is, which is protecting both of you, or you have to get a lawyer involved. In the long run it won't hurt you, or force a D. Eventually he will see that you were doing what had to be done to protect the kids, and he'll appreciate that you stood up for yourself. If he doesn't, that just means it was a very good idea! There is a good reason you are uncomfortable. If he is MLC (and the word motorcycle makes me wonder) the meaning of money may get very confusing for him!

[catfan]

I've got to agree with the others here, don't agree to anything or split the money just yet. You need to protect yourself here and incidentally if he's MLC you probably are protecting him from himself as well. I also think you need to get some basic legal advice here. Sure it sounds bad but it's the right thing to do. If anything it'll give you some piece of mind by helping you know and understand the basics in your state.

[cat03]

you now have to look out for you and your babies, so don't give in, don't be afraid of "rocking the boat", he's being inconsiderate, you don't have to accomodate him.

[Mom of 2 2B]

Thanks, everyone, I appreciate the insight and moral courage! I'm not quite sure yet what I will say but I'll figure it out. He's sick today and can't visit the babies so I think I've bought a little more time- I can talk to his mom tomorrow (she's flying in tonight) and I think she will straighten him out on this issue. I don't like to get her involved but she lives across the country, he sees her every 18 mos or so, and will listen to her. So I think that will help.