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Be careful w/ the diary info. Since your W left it out in plain sight yesterday it makes me wonder if she is testing you.

I hope that was an indoor soccer game. It is to darn cold in Cleveland tonight. Wish I had H to cuddle w/ in bed tonight. At least I have my lap dog who love to cuddle.


Me: 41
H: 42
DDs: 10 & 15
M: 19yrs.
Bomb: June 2007
Separated:10/28/07
previous threads
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1270987&page=5&fpart=1

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Brit -

Does your W know of your DB threads? Would you feel comfortable if she were to read them? I am not saying what you did is wrong or right in reading her diary, but there are things that should remain personal even betwee H and W. I can understand the temptation with it almost calling at you to read it.

I showed my W the DB forums a few days ago, but I told her it was probably best that she not read the thread about us as I speak the truth in them from my point of view and she probably would not like what she reads. As for my W's diary, I could not read it anyway as it is in Thai, but she has shown me several entries in it in the past 9 years where we had arguments. I just had to take her word that we had arguments on those days. I asked her if she ever wrote good things in her diary. Somehow, I think my W used her diary as a means of keeping score of how many times we argued, even though we did not argue that much in our marriage IMHO.

I am just trying to make a point that what a lot of people write in their diaries (and in these threads) is the bad things and they tend to leave out a lot of the good. I think it is just human nature to focus more on the bad than on the good.

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Even when I look at her checking account, I still have NO IDEA how she manages to blow through so much cash every two weeks. It's insane. How do you go from $2k to $20 in four days without actually having anything to show for it?

Ummmmm.....drugs come to mind??????

Ellie

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Originally Posted By: lizzy
Be careful w/ the diary info. Since your W left it out in plain sight yesterday it makes me wonder if she is testing you.


Maybe; maybe not. Honestly, I don't think she puts a whole lot of thought into what I do or don't do right now - She's in her own little world.

She asked me to do laundry last night and put up some lights - Seemed pretty content that I got that done for her.

Originally Posted By: lizzy

I hope that was an indoor soccer game. It is to darn cold in Cleveland tonight. Wish I had H to cuddle w/ in bed tonight. At least I have my lap dog who love to cuddle.


Oh yeah - it's indoors. My W only really goes because there is a bar and she can buy beer. OM goes too, but if the game starts at 10pm like it did last night, she'll leave at 9:30 to get there at 10.

I got to cuddle with my W this morning - It was nice \:\)

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Originally Posted By: kml

Ummmmm.....drugs come to mind??????


Nope - She very rarely takes cash out. I can probably account for everything except a few hundred bucks. It's just that EVERY month she is behind on bills and doesn't have enough $$$ to cover the basics. So she gets a loan to prop her up, then she just ends up in more debt... Usual silly cycle.

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Originally Posted By: KerryK

Does your W know of your DB threads? Would you feel comfortable if she were to read them? I am not saying what you did is wrong or right in reading her diary, but there are things that should remain personal even betwee H and W. I can understand the temptation with it almost calling at you to read it.


I don't think she knows about the DB threads - She certainly hasn't made mention of them in the past and I've certainly not showed them to her.

I agree that even between H & W there is still the concept of privacy - Like I said, I know I shouldn't have done it, but it's too late now. I feel very guilty for invading her privacy like that, especially since there really wasn't anything in there I didn't already know.

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Originally Posted By: littlebitlost
Hey Brit
Long time since I have been here. I see you are still here. Hope things have been tolerable for you adn that you are feeling strong.


Yep - Still here. Things are going okay. Not great, not bad - Just okay.

Originally Posted By: littlebitlost

Moving out might be just the thing to wake up that WAW of yours.


Well, if you've not read my old threads - My W moved out in October, but I moved in with her a couple of weeks ago when I sold my house. I'm moving into somewhere new next month, so this is just a short term temporary thing.

Thanks for stopping by! \:\)

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What is it about the OM that so attracts your W? I remember you said he was very young and a total loser. There must be something about him that your W prefers over you.


BD/DR doesn't dive into this all that much. If you are in for a different perspective, check in with the I(ntellectual W(h*res)/L(adder)/T(heory) crowd.

From LT:

All women want a hot, rich man. That is not possible for all women. There are a shortage of rich men, and a definite shortage of hot rich men, since if a man is rich he doesn't have to bother to look good. So if most of the men in a woman's life are of basically average looks and similar income, what is going to win out? Novelty, and power, which many outlaw bikers possess. By the description of attraction in the Ladder Theory it only goes to follow that if a woman can't have a rich man, that she'll gravitate toward an Outlaw Biker.

An Outlaw Biker is an archetypal male - not neccesarily a literal outlaw, nor a biker. He represents the bad boy, rebellious, going nowhere type of male that women theoretically prefer over a nice guy.

Last edited by dimitri; 01/25/08 03:40 PM.
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Originally Posted By: dimitri

An Outlaw Biker is an archetypal male - not neccesarily a literal outlaw, nor a biker. He represents the bad boy, rebellious, going nowhere type of male that women theoretically prefer over a nice guy.


Yeah, I've read about that before - The way she is heading, if she's after that, she's going to be left with nothing... Oh well.

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To revisit the DB mantra, of

"keep doing what works, stop doing what doesnt work".:

If living together is showing some improvements in the way she treats you... then it doesnt seem sensible to rush to not live together.

It sounds to me like living together again, has slightly improved her treatment and attitude towards you.


You were living separately a few months ago: did that really HELP? or make her nastier towards you?

Now since you've moved back.. has she been worse, about the same, or better towards you?


My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D.
Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M.
3 wonderful sons caught in the middle


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