My wife admitted to having a PA with her EA guy. Happened two weeks ago. We have three kids. I opened my home to this guy. Brought him to church with our family, he played with my kids. This is tough. Real tough. Before admitting to the affair (after I pretty much caught her red handed), she was very close to being a WAW. She felt horrible for a few days and things actually looked up and I thought maybe she came to her senses. She said she wanted to give our marriage a try. Now she is willing to see if we can make it work, but she is pretty hopeless. Right now she says her main needs are: For me to get a life. To bring something to our marriage. She needs to laugh, and for me to get on a more equal level intellectually with her.
Michele is right. I need to get a life. Bring something to the marriage. Let my wife see me in a more confident, positive light. I feel time slipping away, however. I think a have a few months to help her raise an eyebrow at me. But I'm in such a horrible funk. I can't eat, sleep, or anything. I've tried the DB thing the best I could over the last few months, and I'm spent. Physically and emotionally. I've never seen a doctor about antidepressants or meds for anxiety or anything before.
Where do I begin? Are there any that have actually helped people on this board? Any specifically that I can ask my doctor about?
How do they actually work? Do they really give you a more positive outlook on life while taking them? How do they make you feel? I just need to be picked up a little, so I can get myself out of bed and face the day a little easier.
They definitely helped me. I got two -- one for a take-every-day, "even me out" thing that does take 2-3 weeks to kick in. The other was a take-as-needed for anxiety attack episodes, of which I had two or three.
Both helped tremendously, and there's no shame in doing what you have to do to be there for your kids considering what your wife has done to your psyche right now.
thanks a lot Choc. it amazes me on this board, while everyone is searching for their own answers people are still willing to take time out to give others a hand.
You will not find a more amazing group of people than those here.
Just to add to Choc. I also have a 1x/day med that I take. I use Effexor XR. Your doctor will have recommendations for you.
I think the meds will bring you on a more level playing field. It won't stop your problems, but they're make you more capable of dealing with them. It sure worked for me. I think it will make the GAL easier for you.
Take care-
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
Waterski, I take Lexapro once a day for depression and anxiety. It did make a major difference in my life. It calmed me down and I was able to focus on my daily routine. I resisted for a while going to the doctor, but in the long run it was a good decision.
Go to the doctor, he will be able to determine if medication is right for you.
I'm sorry you are here, but Sue is right, there are some amazing and kind people on this board.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I am on Celexa. I think the 20mg dose is too low, though. After two weeks, not much change. Only mild side-effects. I have a follow-up with my doc next week, though. We may need to adjust the dosage.
I will caution you, though. I would avoid walking into a doc's office and say, "I think I need a scritp for..."
Tell the doc your history. What's going on? Anxiety? Depression? Panic attacks? Severe episodes? Frequency? Family history of depression or anxiety issues?
Tell the doc your history. What's going on? Anxiety? Depression? Panic attacks? Severe episodes? Frequency? Family history of depression or anxiety issues?
Let your doc decide which AD is right for you.
As usual, Mark is right on the button. They can all have such different effects depending on your own personal history. Sometimes they need to play around a bit to get the right drug and the right quantity for you. They can really help though.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
