Mojo One thing that disturbed me about your account of your ONS was your behavior in relation to the OW.
Details please! The fact he was M? Because it was a random, spur of the moment event? The fact they did it in the car? The fact he didn't go to her place? He never called her or told her he wasn't going to her place? Something else?
virgin princess OH, she was a virgin and a princess? LOL
Just out of curiosity, how would you rate the behavior of the OW? Was she playing the part of the innocent virgin princess
Pretty clearly not but that's part of my point. The same lack of integration that will cause a man to handle one woman too much like a china doll will vibe opposite in other situations. I think the more integrated a man is in his sexuality, the better able he will be to see/pet the bunny and see/spank the monkey in any woman in any situation. Of course, women "should" do their part by demanding to be treated with courtesy, respect and affection before, during and after any incident of getting their brains f*cked out and/or monkey spanked.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
One dating book I read said that you might want to strongly consider whether the man you are dating would be someone you would want to have lunch with even if he was a woman.
IC, does the reverse work for men?
Maybe the song "Why Can't Women be More Like Men" from the movie My Fair Lady had some validity.
Mostly the fact that he was married based on the assumption that he didn't make that clear and the facts of his exit from the situation. His behavior during this incident was dysfunctional monkey both in regards to MissIC and the OW. Don't get me wrong it's not that I feel sorry for her. It's just so boring and predictable. Every novel I've ever read in which a "nice guy" steps out for a minute on his wife monkey-style that's how he behaves towards the OW. The Madonna /whore male shame thing again (yawn).
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Every novel I've ever read in which a "nice guy" steps out for a minute on his wife monkey-style that's how he behaves towards the OW. The Madonna /whore male shame thing again (yawn).
Well MO, I suppose there is lots of shame for most NG's I had tons of it (shame) dumped on me. You don't have to be Catholic, BTW.
Denial and shame, you see both on the "Cheaters" programs on TV. Very few guys say, "yes I f'ed he and it was good" so it (denial and shame) seems to be the default setting for most people that consider then self "non-players" but greatly troubled with their home life.
His behavior during this incident was dysfunctional monkey both in regards to MissIC and the OW. So guys, watch "Cheaters" to learn what not to do.
The show reminds me of shop-lifters. People want something but don't want to obtain it honestly and openly.
Mostly the fact that he was married based on the assumption that he didn't make that clear and the facts of his exit from the situation. His behavior during this incident was dysfunctional monkey both in regards to MissIC and the OW. Don't get me wrong it's not that I feel sorry for her.
Very dysfunctional monkey! IC is not crystal clear on his posts which does open up room for error in our assumptions. FWIW...Based on what I know through e-mails with Miss IC, OW was also married
The show reminds me of shop-lifters. People want something but don't want to obtain it honestly and openly.
Right. You might want to think about this in relation to your sich, Lou. For instance, there's nothing wrong with BB honestly and openly wanting a shiny new useless doohickey just like there's nothing wrong with you honestly and openly wanting what you want. I mean my values on the matter are more in alignment with yours but I believe BB would be perfectly justified in saying "I will not stay in a second-hand shop marriage" for the same reason you would be justified in saying "I will not stay in a sexless marriage". If you ponder the reasons why you are so entrenched in your position, you may gain some insight into BB's parallel entrenchment.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Very dysfunctional monkey! IC is not crystal clear on his posts which does open up room for error in our assumptions. FWIW...Based on what I know through e-mails with Miss IC, OW was also married \:\/
The more I learn of this sad world, the more I realize that "I" am the innocent virgin princess which is probably why all the street-smart men I date laugh at me when I try to act tough. For instance, I told FSG that my sexual identity in relation to him was going to be the "bashful stalker" and he pretty much went into hysterics.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Mojo If you ponder the reasons why you are so entrenched in your position, you may gain some insight into BB's parallel entrenchment. I did life her way for a long time. Am endless tread mill of want, work, buy, want more, buy more, give away good stuf, buy more different new stuff.
Help, I am worn out. I hate that tread mill life style.
If she worked for what she wanted and paid taxes, house/car insurance, home repairs, car repairs, etc, then maybe she would appreciate what she dad and not want so many new things.
One mistake I made was to cover all of the esentials, while she spent "HER" money.
Yes there is nothing wrong spending like I had a dentist's income, trouble is, I am a craft person.
I suppose that is what I get for marrying a Dr's daughter, even if he died when BB was 4.
BTW, just sold $900 worth og "GOOD" used exercise equipment for $140-$30 for the add, net $110. BB's replacement equipment was ~$450. How is that for getting ahead?????
If she worked for what she wanted and paid taxes, house/car insurance, home repairs, car repairs, etc, then maybe she would appreciate what she dad and not want so many new things.
One mistake I made was to cover all of the esentials, while she spent "HER" money.
Yeah, that was a mistake. I actually thought that you had indicated once that BB did have her own money which she was spending on the doodads. That is why I thought you should maybe back off. However, I suppose you could do some kind of cost/benefit analysis of the whole sich based on how much she would be entitled to if you split due to her years as homemaker etc. etc. I mean there should be some portion of your savings/income that is earmarked as her "fun" money even if you guys were really strapped and it was just $5 a week. You do understand that you haven't drawn a clear enforceable boundary on this issue, right? If you are in any way making a semi-conscious mental calculation along the lines of thinking that your best bet financially at the moment is to do your best to "control" BB then that is contributing to your marital fusion.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
LOL
