Keep up the DBing....I find myself backsliding a lot but not as much now a days..I guess cause I'm ticked off that he is doing this to my children...the 3 people he says he loves the most in this world...
Many days I pray and tell God I want off this rollercoaster ride (and I hate rollercoasters, no wonder this is hard). I didn't choose this and I don't want to go through it...and then I pray again for the healing of his heart....to make him whole again...God has control now..He will do what is planned for me..I just hope some day I find the love I so deserve, even if it is from myself...
Take care and hang in there...
Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
I know what you mean. The future that you thought you would have is gone. I have the same. I was dreaming to get old with this man. We safed all the money we could, so that we could do a lot of nice things in the future. Now future was there, we bought a boat and......... Future gone. It won't be the future anymore we wanted. This future is past.
Its hard to make plans for a new future, its so unbelieveble that I am alone now.
I read your thread. I am sad to hear your H had an affair for 2 years before you knows. Knowing by nocking on your door. That must be shocking! What are they thinking, that they can do everything without concequenses? I will believe that he wasn't feeling good for a few years. With a doublelife you can't!!! Iam dealing with the same. My H was saying the same words. I didn't feel good for a long time. But after asking how long I analized (maybe wrong, but it's good to know) more and more that unhappyness started when OW was in the picture. H admitted that too! They are not only in MLC they are being brainwaved too. Well what chance do we have here? A new relationship is not the one you have when your 34y together. Thats for sure. And the kids of you, well they have the right to feel this way too. What were the last two years all about? They are smart. They do think such things. Its hard to see them struckle too. At least they are old enough that they can say no to see OW. Thats the fear of my S(22). That she will be around some day with sailing or even stay in front of his home. (she is a bit bossy and pushy) How do I have to act than is his question. Well thats not up to me (dont ask that to me, because Iam soooooooooo MAD) S told H to keep her away!! But does he do that when she's pushing?
I hope you and your son's will be ok. Maybe on and off. I know how it go's thats for sure! Hang in there. Love Merel
Yesterday S(22) has an appointment with his Prof at the university for his Master paper. S was telling him that he's leaving 1 of July for his temporary job (for 1 year) at the VolvoOceanRace. Asking him if it was possible to finish his paper and have his Master degree before leaving. It's better to take care of his last 2 exams and do the paper when he's back in town in July 09, his Prof said.
So S was calling H (yesterday) for telling the (for H bad) news. H hang up to him and even wasn't calling back to him untill this moment! That's bad! That H hurt me and S for runningaway with OW that's different, but this is.......????? Mad!
S was warning about this several times, because it looks like impossible already! And H and me were talked about this (at H request), when we were out for dinner, too. I was realy clear. Its better to let it go, because S has a handicap with writing (and reading), he's dyslectic. Its so good from him that he's at this point. I am so proud of him! It isn't good pushing on this stage!!! (H was never interfering of S his study before, never stood besite me and S when problems with dyslectic came out) S will do it when he's back in his own spead. He don't have a job than, so slow down after his for sure busy (but very beautyfull) job a bit and look for an other one at the time he's writing his paper! He's so young! What doesn't H understand from this conversation??? Pfffff I am so tired off this crap.
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