I just wanted to pop in and wish you all a Happy New Year.
I also wanted to thank you all for posting still and say how much I enjoy reading you news.......it still inspires me after all these years.
My news is pretty much the same.
I'm doing well. Coping I think is a good word. This Christmas was the best one for me yet, since my exh left. I felt more positive about a happy future for me.
Of course the children are older and so that must make it easier for me. Two of them are at Uni as a result the house stays tidier and there is always food in the fridge. They are good kids and have never caused me a moment of trouble or stress beyond what would be normally expected. I can even leave them and go away for a few days and the house looks pretty good on my return. This is something that my friends find surprising.
Over the past year I have dated several men. I've not met the right one yet. I still am pretty confident that will never happen but who knows? This year is the first time that I can say that I actually feel fond of one or two of them. But it's nothing more than fond. And if they don't call me it doesn't bother me. So it's not good really.
My ex is still married. I can't say that he seems happy. His new wife seems eager to spend time with her ex. She stays with him when she visits their children, which is very civilised I suppose. My ex and I, on the other hand, don't speak at all. Our children are concerned about him. They say that he appears to be very unhappy. My ex hasn't told them this fact though. So, I say that until he does they're just guessing and don't know for sure.
I ask the kids if they ever worry about me. They say no. When I ask why not? They say that I'm a stong woman and that I'm happy.
So that's it folks it's official. I'm a strong woman and I'm happy!
The thing that's shocked me the most is how long it's taken me to recover from this fiasco. I think it's taken me 46 months to get to the stage of being able to say that I feel ok about all of this. But now I feel that I can begin rebuilding my life.
My children have coped amazingly well. My middle one is just going to have some councelling. He's struggling with some everyday stuff in his life. His GP feels that what went on during his teens at home may have contributed to this. Some support for boundary setting will be useful for him. My other two seem to be doing just fine. I can't say that they're not damaged by what happened but they're doing just fine.
The bottom line though is I feel that divorce isn't the answer people should work to save their marriage. But when one person wants out and doesn't want to play and becomes abusive and violent divorce is the only answer sadly.
Haven't been here in quite a while and just saw your post. Good to hear from you and that you're feeling well. Like yours my H is re-M, apparently quite happily, though he has not been in touch, have not seen him in 2+ years, so he is very much out of my life and vice versa.
46 months seems in some ways a long time but in others not -- coming up on 48 myself yet and I do not feel "over" things and I'm beginning to think of it as just a part of me that will always be there, the difference being that over time that its effect on day-to-day life is dwindling away. But then I've always been a slowpoke.
