My WAW and I separated on 1/6/07. She is leaving town for the MLK holiday and asked if she could come over and make dinner for me and our 17S. She also asked if I could watch the dog at my house. Both requests sound reasonable so I said yes.
I am trying to go dark but it is difficult because of our S. After thinking about the situation should I have told her to find her own babysitter for the dog? She filed for D on 11/20/07 and I am concerned that she is really not finding out what it is like to be on her own if I keep helping her.
She has maintained our joint account for payment of her bills and I am thinking of telling her to start managing her own finances. Even though she initiated the D she is being very tentative in the separation-should I tell her "look you started this-now finish it" or is my willingness to be supportive and respectful of our relationship with our S undemining my DB efforts.
Hmmm, so, you are paying for her bills or she is just keeping her money there too? hope she isnt' doing that just to take advantage of the money kept there.
Have you been served, is the D still standing? I wonder if she is getting cold feel and rethinking the M. Unless she is taking advantage of your money I dont' see anything wrong with being supportive of her, just keep it at that.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Cat03- I was not served formally-she brought the papers to me in person (which nearly killed her)and I replied on 12/6/07. We established separate accounts back in December. Her paycheck is still being deposited in our joint account rather than her individual account which would make sense to me if she truly wanted to be on her own.
I need to understand her "tentativeness" in this whole process. She visited a lawyer in October and filed in Novemeber. I am having a hard time figuring out if she is having second thoughts or is just having anxiety of her own about separating.
One thing to note is that when we told our 17,19 S, we told them we were separating not that their mother had filed for divorce from their father. It has been about a month since we told them we were separating and have gotten some pretty negative feedback from our children about it. I am growing anxious about not telling them the truth and I know my WAW is very concerned about the reaction when the truth is told.
Do I push for "closure" on this issue? Or do I let my WAW control the timing of the D announcement and whether or not I say it was a joint decision. Therapists has said it is important for me not to appear "wounded" and to tell the kids it was a joint decision to divorce even though it wassn'.
