Well my wife apparently removed her ring as I headed from the car at the airport. That was November 8, 2006, our separation date. I was flying back to the US to get everything ready for our move back home at the end of the year.
I kept mine on until Easter 2007. It was that week I finally accepted our OLD marriage was dead. What I didn't accept was that we couldn't have an entirely new and wonderful marriage together. I still today firmly believe we can. But also realize "we" can meaning both of us want to have that.
There have been times when I've put my ring back on for myself as a signal of my commitment, my vow to her, to myself, to our children and to God. Usually it's only a few hours or maybe a day. But I haven't needed to do that in a good while, probably 4 months at least.
Another reason I removed it was so she didn't feel like it was pressure. She has said she didn't notice but she's noticed it when I have had it on and not on.
Now the funny thing about my ring, I still have the "ring tattoo" on my finger. It still looks like I took the ring off last week!
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
When my husband and I talked the first night after I caught him in the A, I gave him my ring, told him he wasn't my husband bc my husband wouldn't do something like that. Then he said he wanted to try to fix things, so I put it back on (it was on top of his dresser). A couple times early on after a bad fight, I would take it off and put it where he could see it. Then, we went to MC. Decided we wanted to work on things. I realized that I should do what I WANT to do with the ring, not use it as a weapon or take it off as the mood struck me. That day I decided that since I had hope of a R, I was going to put it on and leave it on until I no longer had that hope. It was 6 weeks ago and I am still wearing it. Ironically, the same week my husband took his off. Guess it makes sense since he is the one figuring out what he wants/who he is...said he will put it back on if/when he decides he is in it all the way and is committed to having our R back. So I am wearing mine until there is no more reason to. To me, even when we separate next week (him to an apt. while he "works on figuring himself out"), we are still married. We are married until we aren't any more (The dreaded big D). So that is my plan, but just my thinking. Do whatever feels right to you. For me taking it off is giving up hope. Although if we do get back together into a newer, better M, I am open to the idea of new rings to symbolize the new commitment.
I'm wearing my ring. It is a reminder to ME that I am committed to my marriage. I won't remove it until she tells me the marriage is dead. So far it isn't dead, because I'm still crazy about her.
The ring also keeps the girls away ;-)
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
