I have been away for a bit, but I just wanted to check in.
The Xmas holidays were great even though we spent part of them apart. It was actually just what we both needed to come back and renew our commitment to each other and our marriage at the start of this new year.
Things have been steadily improving, with lots of affection and ILYs. Everything has been going so well, in fact, that I finally got up the courage to reveal some of my deepest feelings about our "crisis" period, especially the fact that H had confided in a third party about our life and troubles. I let him know how deeply that had hurt me and how violated and humiliated I felt, and I also noted that this had made me wonder if it was just a matter of time before this happened again.
However, I did it without blaming and without getting upset. H responded that he was sorry that he had hurt me, and that the confidence sharing was only ever just that, but that he was sorry that even just that had hurt me so.
He also added an extra detail that I have been dying to hear, but I have been afraid to ask in case the answer was not what I wanted to hear: He said that he felt that things were "back" between us, and that he feels really good in our relationship. This conversation, although scary (I was NERVOUS), has helped me start to move past this episode in our lives. I woke up today with a lighter heart than I have in quite a while.
I hope that all of the DBers know that one person (and the DB book, the Relationship Rescue book, and the 5 LL book) really can save a marriage (if they are willing to do the work, and it is HARD; but it is so worth it in the end).
