Long and Bumpy Road #3

[Startingover2]

Well that was fun. It was a bit akward at first but then it lightened up. I did my best to be cheery and happy and no talk of R.

After we got back he came in for a bit. We did talk about the delivery and who we wanted in the room. I haven't told him this yet, but I want my oldest daughter (18) in there. She has been here for me more than he has and it would be nice to have her there. He keeps saying he doesn't want a circus and have all of my friends and such there. He wants it to be he and I. I could analyze the heck out of that, but am going to try not to.

I did also tell him that my mom was making comments that she is worried for me being alone when my kids are with their dad now. What if something happens and I am alone? I don't feel the need to worry about that yet. H wanted me to make sure that I told my mother that he was just right up the road and that he plans on when things get closer he is going to stay here.

He does seem to care what others are thinking of him. He made a few comments about my friends thinking he is the worst guy ever and that he is a terrible dad and what my family is probably thinking. So obviously he knows he is being a sh**thead.

When he left I just thanked him for going and told him to have a great rest of the day. I am still going to 180, and GAL, but I need to not be as cold as I have been. I am going to need his help here soon. I just hope I am not setting myself up for a huge blow again.

[Startingover2]

Now he just brought me some dinner. He stayed all of about 3 minutes as he had to get back home to his kids.

Sooo.....is he just being nice because I am pregnant or is it more?

[blindsided1]

No need to read into it SO2. Take it for what it's worth. He was doing something nice for you. Hold onto that for tonight. It was a sweet gesture. Make sure you thank him and let him know you appreciated it. I believe in rewarding them. Hopefully, they will do more. I wish my H was so thoughtful. He really hasn't done anything for ME except be at the Doctor's appointment, which is really more for him. But, I suppose it still isn't real to him, yet. I am just going to choose that excuse rather than get upset about his lack of thoughtfulness towards me.

[Startingover2]

It was a sweet gesture...you are right. I did thank him and was very happy. What is sad is that my H has perfected the two things at once thing and I never know what is genuine and what is not.

I will ride with this for now.

[Mom of 2 2B]

SO2-

Saw your post on my thread asking me to read yours and I did- so frustrated b/c I just spent 20 min preparing what I thought was a pretty insightful reply and it got dumped somehow! Babies need to eat again so I will try again later.

MO2

[blindsided1]

How's it going to day SO2? It's another weekend - PMA, okay? A friend of mine once told me to "plan for surprises because we never know what is going to happen". I hope you get pleasand surprises this weekend. Let me know how you're doing. Do you still have you meeting with L on Monday? I am really interested to hear what they say about visitation. I'm thinking of you.

[Startingover2]

Its going ok...thanks Blindsided.

Weekends are actually tough for me. I get caught in the 'I wonder what he is doing?' thing. I know OW doesn't have her kids on Saturday nights and it makes me more uptight about if he is seeing her or not.

I do go and meet with L on Monday. Looking forward to that. Have a list of questions I want to ask. I really never thought it would get this way. In the beginning of the pregnancy it was looking so promising. Now I have no idea. Sometimes I feel like he does just enough to keep me satisfied and around.

[blindsided1]

Try to relax and have a good weekend. I know the "I wonder what he's doing" blues all too well. Keep repeating "don't know and don't care". Just keep saying it everytime you start to go down that road. It helps. Not always, but often.

From what I've read, he's doing more than some men are doing - namely my H. We're not on his radar right now. He doesn't care how we're feeling or if we're okay. He just ignores that we even exist. Whatever. I still hold fast the the idea of Karma. It will come back to him and OW - threefold. It just makes me sad to think of what he is going to miss out on. Let me know if there are any updates during the day. I'm always interested to see how your H is reacting and acting.

[JAK58]

[/quote]H: I feel like I am bugging you. So you get in contact with me when you feel the need especially when it has to do with baby.[quote]

SO2,

When H texted this you went on to tell him about all you were trying to do. I feel that it would show more independence from you and that you do not NEED him( yes you want him but you don't need him) if you just lovingly stated that if you needed him to help, you you would call him. This way he can not use this for an excuse to text you.

SO2 you have been independent of him before i believe when you were "semi dating". Bring that independent person back.

I know you will be ok with the baby on your own. BS is right set a visiting scedule and stick to it. Do not give H the room to come and go as he pleases.

Chuck is a very good DB councelor. He helped me when I called. I had one appt with him and in that time he gave me much insite and helped me with what I had to do.

I'll read more later
Find peace for you. Don't worry about what H is doing as he has a long journey.

JAK

[JAK58]

SO2,
Quit wondering what H is doing and think what do I want to do for me today.

JAK