Next steps

[MaxP]

Well, thought I'd start a new topic as the old one seems inappropriate.

Just journaling about my sitch.

Nothing much to say really. I have no contact with my W other than to talk about practical matters. This happens about once a week via email. We haven't met face to face for 3 months (the night of "it's over") or spoken for several weeks. Most of the dumbing down of contact now comes from me, since I still feel angry and betrayed, particularly whenever we have contact.

Finally started to move on to sorting out the division of our finances (were/still are joint - just). Also made a list of major possessions today and we both are starting to plant our flags on the list. As she's about to move (again) she now needs more furniture and wants to know what she can take from the house / what she needs to buy. We are starting to put values on things too. It's so depressing.

Even though what has happened has now made things virtually impossible to go back on from my point of view, and the sense of betrayal is still strong, I still find it very difficult to accept. I still think it is mad, stupid, unbelievable that we have split up. Will it ever cease to bother me? Do I feel this way because I was rejected?

What I find amazing is that each little bit of contact still stirs everything up. It's not as bad as it used to be, but it's surprisingly strong (now sep. for 6 months). Just an email from her puts me on edge. Does anyone else feel like that? Sometimes I just want someone to talk to / rant at.

[Trixi]

(((MaxP)))

Even seeing my H log onto messenger (when a little notification noise goes off and his icon pops into the right hand corner of my screen) gets me stirred up. (Some days worse than others.) Everytime I get an TM on my phone, my stomach drops because I wonder if it's him.

I think it's natural for us to not fully understand or believe that we are split from our spouses. Heck, isn't "denial" one of the first steps in the grieving process?

I think having to divide up "our" lives is incredibly painful. I have no advice, just sympathy/empathy.