Hi, I have a quick question and am looking for opinions. New Years Eve is coming up and my W has the kids next week but doesn't have a sitter lined up for New Years Eve. She's frustrated because she has a party to go to (don't know if she has a date, but suspect yes) and thinks I should watch the kids since I don't have definate plans yet. I don't want to stay home and have a few options, just haven't committed to a plan yet.
So, here's the question. Do I stay home and watch the kids, let her go to the party (potentially enabling her new romance), or do I stay firm that it's her job to find child care when the kids are with her and that I should not give up New Years Eve because she can't find a sitter.
This follows a trend of me giving her whatever she wants because I don't want to risk irritating her, but at some point I think I need to look out for me. Is giving in on this one just supporting her belief that she deserves whatever she asks for or will it be percieved as a nice gesture because I care. She might be thinking it's no sacrifice since I don't have solid plans so there would be no benefit to me to give it up.
Any thoughts, what do all of you have planned for New Years's Eve, something fun I hope.
I haven't read your story, so I am answering based on what you wrote.
Here's my analogy-- just because you don't know exactly *what* you are having for dinner, doesn't mean that you don't plan to eat.
If the kids are her responsibility that night, then it's her responsibility to find care for them. Why do you have to "justify" where you will be and what you'll be doing? It might be that you wanted to stay home and have a ceremony to send out the old and welcome the new and you didn't want the children to bare witness to any emotional outbursts. It's not for HER to judge whether your plans should be dropped to accomodate her.
As far as what I have planned; my H is in NY; I am moving to a rental starting Jan 1. I am going to be packing like a crazy person these next few days. My 2007 has SUCKED BIG TIME and not just because of the marriage going south. I have been invited to do things, but I think I want to stay home, and have a cathartic cry fest and ceremonial burning to say "so long and good riddance" to 2007.
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
your analogy is exactly what I was thinking, we are on the same page, just looking for confirmation that I wasn't being a jerk for not giving in to her request.
