Hey all.. noticed my other thread locked. Probably for the best. Some updates on my sitch:
Xmas Eve.. W dropped off the D's and OM was with her. Went to my folks place.. had a great time.. D's got lots of clothes and toys!! W called and was upset we were out so late, we got into it a little, but we quickly cooled off and apologized. She said "I'm sorry it's come to this."
Evidently, W and OM went to midnight mass.. surprised they made it out alive.
Xmas morning was great!! D's got what they wanted and had fun. Was supposed to drop the D's off at W's between 10-11. I was very surprised that W didn't call the D's in the morning. Finally had to call W at 10:30 and "they" were still in bed. Said to bring the D's over by 11.
Show up at 11 and W is wrapped in a towel.. evidently "they" were in the shower. Totally stupid, disrespectful, you name it. I had to sit there keeping the kids away from the presents while "they" got dressed. D5 said "I don't want OM here.. I want you guys" Not much I could say.
I did notice that there were several presents for OM from W. When she finally came out (he came out first) I handed her the gifts from the girls. She of course didn't think to get me anything from the girls.
I got out as soon as I could.
She texted me later saying "Thanks so much for the CD and Necklace. It's beautiful!!"
I decided to play nice for the holidays.. I replied "You're welcome.. have a merry Xmas"
Visited family and friends.. still was the loneliest day I can ever remember.
Called D's at Grandma's.. D3 was quick on the phone.. D5 was having a coughing fit and hung up on me.
This morning, W calls.. evidently she's sick.. she has to pick up OM's kids (he had to work today) from his Ex's and was wondering if I could watch our D's for a couple of hours.
I may have to come up with some plans!!
Anyway.. Hope you all had a wonderful day yesterday.
I'm counting down to a great and very different 08!!
She of course didn't think to get me anything from the girls.
Hi Jar!! I'll join you in the inconsiderate spouse club. My H didn't think of taking D3 to get me anything for Christmas either. Made me sad. I did give birth to the best gift he's ever gotten afterall!!
I'm with you on hoping for a much better 2008. I sat there last night by myself in our bedroom watching it snow and wondered where we'll (me and D3) be on Christmas in '08. Hopefully in a much more peaceful place!
Have a great day!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
Xmas Eve.. W dropped off the D's and OM was with her. Went to my folks place.. had a great time.. D's got lots of clothes and toys!! W called and was upset we were out so late, we got into it a little, but we quickly cooled off and apologized. She said "I'm sorry it's come to this."
Hmmm...kids up late on Christmas Eve. Ya think?
Originally Posted By: jarhead
Evidently, W and OM went to midnight mass.. surprised they made it out alive.
I'm kinda disappointed that they didn't burst into flames when they crossed the threshold.
Originally Posted By: jarhead
Finally had to call W at 10:30 and "they" were still in bed. Said to bring the D's over by 11.
Show up at 11 and W is wrapped in a towel.. evidently "they" were in the shower. Totally stupid, disrespectful, you name it. I had to sit there keeping the kids away from the presents while "they" got dressed. D5 said "I don't want OM here.. I want you guys" Not much I could say.
I hope that you are documenting this stuff Jar. It is not appropriate for OM to be around your girls in any state of undress--he is not their father. While it doesn't sound like that happened while you were there, you wouldn't be reaching to infer that it might happen when you are not. I'm not implying that the guy is a pervert, but he and your W are not behaving within the appropriate boundries of the situation. Not to mention that it was snotty, childish and unkind behavior.
Originally Posted By: jarhead
I did notice that there were several presents for OM from W. When she finally came out (he came out first) I handed her the gifts from the girls. She of course didn't think to get me anything from the girls.
They will remember that. Your W is sowing the seeds of a very difficult relationship with your Ds. Earlier she whined about their being "your girls," yet she continues to do things that push them closer to you at her expense. Not very forward-thinking IMO.
Originally Posted By: jarhead
I decided to play nice for the holidays.. I replied "You're welcome.. have a merry Xmas"
You go Jar! Way to be a grown up!
Originally Posted By: jarhead
Visited family and friends.. still was the loneliest day I can ever remember.
That stinks...and it will get better with time. You made it through w/o taking backwards steps. That is a victory.
Originally Posted By: jarhead
This morning, W calls.. evidently she's sick.. she has to pick up OM's kids (he had to work today) from his Ex's and was wondering if I could watch our D's for a couple of hours.
What a piece of...work. She wants your help to make her R with OM work, and she uses guilt over your Ds to get you to do it. I don't know how I would handle that in your place. On one hand, it gives you more time with your Ds, but on the other it enables her dysfunctional behavior. Good luck sorting that one out Jar...I don't think there is any right or wrong answer--but document whatever you do.
W and OM in church and they made it out?? My H, OW, and my kids and her kids went to church one Sunday this summer. They sat together, played happy family and both took communion. She isn't even baptized. Sooo many things wrong with these adulterers even going near church, unless they are confessing and asking forgiveness....
I agree on documenting. I am sure (ouch, sorry to say) that OM has showered there many times, and been in some state of undress. I agree, I have no reason to think he is some sort of pervert, but its inappropriate. Immature as well. Can't they just put themselves aside for once?? Why does OM have to be around when she has the kids anyway??
Wow Jar it amazes me that this OM has no problem being around you at all. You would think if he knew you were coming over or anything he would run for the hills. Do you think he just thinks in his mind that this isn't cheating because you guys are seperated? Or is this just one big dude who thinks he is billy bad azz? I am just amazed that he would come out knowing he was in the shower with your wife. Kind of like a blatant rub it in your face thing.
That was so nice you got X-mas morning with the girl's. You are such a great dad!!
Life sucks sometimes, but kudos on the maturity. If it had been me, I would have not taken them there at all (that's the child in me) and made them collect.
