I have alluded to this on another thread but I am curious about how others approach the issue of sexuality in their marriage around their adult and young adult children. While I think it certainly can be taken overboard, I don't wish to hide the fact that I am in love with and attracted to their mother. My W has the opposite thought process (imagine that!) and all signs of affection should be hidden and private. Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about making out in the kitchen in front of them but if they happen to walk in the room when I am kissing my W I don't think the world is in imminent danger of ending. My kids are 21, 20, 18, and 16. What are your thoughts?
Gone the carvings and those who left their mark. Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
I think even a seven year old can be told "Don't bother us for a while" as you disappear into a bedroom without scarring him for life. And sharing affection with your spouse is a good way to show your kids that marriage is a way for two people to be happy and loving for life and not a prison where two people expect each other to live joyless and celibate lives.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
Your kids of all ages need to see adult affection and sexuality. It is healthy and natural. Actually hiding healthy affection from your kids - that is the thing that is damaging.
If they don't see it at home, where will they see it? The movies?
This is just basic modeling, people. Model good behavior at home. Show your kids what it looks like to be in love!!!
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
I am hardcore on this issue. My parents *did* make out in the kitchen or whatever room they happened to be in. Not full-on groping, mind you, but full-contact embraces and lots of kissing; not pecks either. I wouldn't trade growing up in that environment for anything else in the world. I think adult physical affection between married people (as long as it doesn't get r-rated) is a *wonderful* thing to model for your kids. And the reasoning of people who feel otherwise really does escape me. It's not like you could ever isolate kids, *especially* teenagers, from all kinds of PDA and sexuality in the media -- why not send the messages that "married people do this stuff too" and "mom and dad love each other and aren't afraid to show it"?
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
