Hi Jack, You do ask good questions, but I really don't have the answers anymore.
I read on someones thread that it would be easier if their H had died. That person of course expressed that they didn't actually want their H dead, but I know exactly what they mean. It would be over, there would be a clear path-although one filled with grief. But at least you would know which direction you were going in. I have love for my H-but when I was looking at him while he was speaking to me on New Years Eve day-afer he admitted to the PA-I couldn't stand the sight of him.
Life has been easier without him lately-even through the holidays. He said that the holidays were the worst for him-but they were fine for me, being around my family. Having the support that I needed. But I wasn't very "needy". The only family that H has left (besides me and the girls) is his sister, BIL, niece and nephew and the niece and nephew live out of state. That's probably why he is clinging to this OW. But she has a big extended family all in the area. But I'm sure that he is not brought around any of them yet.
I made copies of all of my important documents on New Years Day. I think I need to start making moves to protect myself.
I want to be happy again. I can't see this going on for years! He is making all of the classic moves of a MLCer. So I can't be a sucker anymore.
Me:45 H: 45 M: 14 yrs T: 16 yrs D's: 7/11 Bomb: June '07 Moved out: Sept.'07
Mrs LBW, I also emailed a condensed version of MLC for Dummies to my H yesterday. He has a good sense of humor and we have both always believed in the importance of being able to laugh at things that aren't really funny--so after thinking about it, I realized he could take it. I asked him if he read it and he said he hadn't had time to open it yet--so there you go. I am dying to find out his reaction, but now I want to ask him again if he read it.
Anyway, it's great that you are feeling strong. At first I thought I had it easier because there is no OW in our situation, but having affairs is so blatantly icky that maybe it makes it easier to detach? I don't know. My H is of the "I need to leave you to find my true self" variety. He's newly in love with himself, it seems, and there's no room for anyone else.
Me/X-H: 47/48 T 19 yrs M 16 years D14 D10 ILYBINILWY: 10/07 H moved out 6/08
