Hey folks! I see lots of new names here, sorry I haven't had the time to keep up with everybody's sitch. Things in the GGB household have remained more or less the same while I try to figure out my purpose in life and what makes me happy (Corri, who knew it would be so doggone hard?). MrsGGB had a scare with "something they wanted to look at closer" in her breast. Thankfully, when she went in last week for a high resolution digital ultrasound, it has apparently gone away. The kids are giving us all a run for the money (with six ranging from about to turn 18 to about to turn 3, we've got our hands busy). The kids have, for the past year or so taken S17's lead and are sniping at each other, being very disrespectful to us and MrsGGB especially, and blowing off their chores. This in turn has made MrsGGB feel as though she has failed as a mother (and of course the whole bit with the lack of nookie has her feeling inadequate as a wife as well). I did a lot of damage there a few years ago when I started pushing for more without really understanding my contribution that is proving hard to undo. Anyway, I'm beginning to see a lot of her parents in the way she deals with the kids, and that bothers me. I'm currently trying to get more involved and set a better example, but there are only so many hours in a day (she's a SAHM) and I still have to run my business. Anyway, I am taking care to spend my energy working on myself and on how I deal with all the family dynamics to see if I can't start changing the tide a bit. S17 is a good kid outside the house, everyone tells us what a great kid he is. He's doing well in school too. At home though, we know nothing, he yells at us, expects everything from us, but only does the minimum of what he's asked to do to help out, and that is with a huge helping of resentment and a ton of backtalk. We are dreading next month when he turns 18, as he's got the idea that once he does he can do anything he likes. Unfortunately, that attitude is contagious and has spread all the way down the chain, which makes keeping the family on an even keel very very difficult. He blew off the applications for college except for his first choice school, which we haven't heard from. His second choice only accepts applications for the program he's looking for up through Dec15, so he missed that deadline. His 3rd and 4th choices have pretty much given away the merit scholarship money already. We've told him that once he's 18, if he isn't enrolled full time in school, that if he wants to stay here he will be paying rent and will have to live by our rules. Anyhow, enough venting. We still haven't got any Christmas decorations up other than the lights and wreaths outside. At least the shopping is done, and for a change we've actually got most of the stuff wrapped now. Perhaps we'll actually be able to go to bed Christmas Eve this year.
Anyhow, Merry Christmas to all of my friends here on the BB (and Happy Hanukah to those to whom it applies: Lil, Hairdog, Journey...). I hope each one of you get the thing you want most this year (I'm sure it is the same thing that's been at the top of my list for the past 21 years ).
Things in the GGB household have remained more or less the same while I try to figure out my purpose in life and what makes me happy (Corri, who knew it would be so doggone hard?).
I posted this awhile back but this seems like a good place, and possibly a good time, to see it again:
"Be careful though in getting caught up in finding your "purpose". I've known guys who've made themselves miserable seeking their purpose. Just get up every day and do what excites you. That is your purpose." -- Dr. Robert Glover
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
Thanks Burgbud, Yep, I can see that. There has to be a middle ground between that and getting up every day and going through the motions, ala "Groundhog Day". I'm basically trying to find what it is that excites me (other than MrsGGB, that is). I've found some things (such as flying), but the cost limits my ability to do it as much as I'd like to.
Why don't you and Mrs.GGB just run away from home for a few days after Christmas and leave S17 in charge of everything and everyone? It would be a growth experience for him and change the dynamics of the current mutiny in the ranks. Plus, you two could go have some monkey fun for a change.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Its ok if your purpose is your family. Its whats most important to you, right?
I know a few succesful M men who have that as there purpose. You show that by doing what needs to be done, not by making everyone 'happy'. You make sure they are doing what they need to do, to take the unneccessary loads off of you, so you can do your job.
At home though, we know nothing, he yells at us, expects everything from us, but only does the minimum of what he's asked to do to help out, and that is with a huge helping of resentment and a ton of backtalk. We are dreading next month when he turns 18, as he's got the idea that once he does he can do anything he likes.
Well, he's absolutely right. He can do anything he likes. In his own home and at his own expense.
It sure beats being an overgrown child.
Originally Posted By: GGB
I did a lot of damage there a few years ago when I started pushing for more without really understanding my contribution that is proving hard to undo.
Do you see your contribution now? Describe it. And undo it by doing something different, every day. She can't reasonably hold the past against you forever. She could unreasonably do that, of course, which will mean that a little more cage-rattling is called for.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
).