The girls had a great morning. I have to admit I will be glad when its all over, but I made the best of it. H is at church with them now, and then they are home to play, play, play.
Nothing says Christmas Eve like yucky divorce talk. That's what H and I did after they went to bed. We weighed some options, I was nice, he blamed me for most of everything, and then I went to bed. He had been drinking so when he said he wanted to talk, I should have said "no". Oh well, you live and learn. Things are calmer today.
I felt very detached at his sister's last night. Just felt odd.
I told my husband about how your husband went on a date on Saturday and came home with a gift from the OW, and he was shocked. This is a man who had an affair and wanted a divorce himself a year ago, and he still found what your H did to be outrageous behavior. I can imagine that you are numb from dealing with such meanness.
and came home with a gift from the OW, and he was shocked.
This is wonderful for you Sara. Its odd, because H would be shocked a year ago, if I told *him* the story....
And I pray for numbness, or at least the strength to deal better.
This week I am looking into mediators and getting our accounts separated. If he won't move out then I will move forward with everything else. I thought today that I am fooling myself about him moving out. I am thinking that I am just escaping the pain from him, but I will be also losing precious time with my girls once this happens. This is forcing me to slow down a bit. I am nowhere near ready to hand them over to Daddy for a weekend.....they will be fine, he continues to always be an amazing father. But they will miss me horribly, and I, them.
I know me moving forward with the D/separation is anti-DB, so if anyone else has any suggestions as to how to handle this, I would love to hear it. I can't sit and watch this happen any longer. Not just watch the A with OW, but to watch his disrespect and lack of caring for me.
Had to add something. H has a strong dislike for my mother. Some of it is justifiable, other parts he has made up in his MLC/fog....
He has avoided family functions (my side) for months. Luckily he usually *is* working so I rarely have to 'fudge' the truth. Today, we were supposed (we being me and the girls) go to my mom's to open gifts. They usually come here, but I had changed the plans to avoid H. On their way home from my brothers, she called and asked if they could just stop by, they were tired, would just rather come see us instead of us coming to them. I said "fine" deciding H could leave the house if he so desired. He stayed, and was the 'old' H, stayed with us in the same room, interacted with my step dad (who he does like), and hugged my mother. Not sure why this happened, but it made for a peaceful visit.
For months H has been pricing big screens. I thought it would be for his dad's house when he moves out. Today, he was talking to my step dad about TV's and they measured our living room corner... crazy man....buy us a big screen then move out? Ok. I'm down with that....
