Love, PAIN and the whole crazy thing!

[mcol]

Hey ya'll...my profile has the link to my sitch but this is the latest and why I am posting in this forum...help!!!

KABOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!

Contrary to popular belief that is not the sound of mortars coming in to Afghanistan. That is the sound of the bomb that just went off in my sitch. My W sent me a letter today detailing her meeting with her attorney. She believes that a legal separation is the way to go right now but she wants to backdate it to the date of my deployment. My state requires a 1 year separation agreement prior to pursuing divorce and if she backdates it to my deployment date then she basically could seek a divorce prior to me returning.

So, I had to rule some stuff out so I went to see an attorney from the Army who gave me some very settling advice and I believe it will give me the necessary time to develop this situation post deployment. I am not going to agree to the backdate, I will only agree to a separation if she continues to pursue with dates oriented to my return. The earliest I will agree to is the date of her letter to me 30 October 07.

I also did an anti-DB and got the information pertinent to my financial obligations currently and in the future. Suffice it to say that because she is a professional and working the horror stories we always hear in the military are not going to be the case for me. We always here how the spouse will take us to the bank in child support. Not so in my case unless she stops working and the burden of the support for the kids falls on my shoulders.

I have spoken to my boss to see if I can come home early. I feel totally helpless over here and my personal situation has consumed me making my focus on the mission that much less and consequently a hazard when supporting our troops. It is a head thing more than not and I think I can re-program but it is very hard.

I cried for the first time today about my sitch. I have been in shock and rage up until now. My emotions could not be contained and I ended up on my knees praying to God to help me in this situation with tears staining the chair I was resting on. It felt good to cry and I have a feeling that this will be the first of many tears I will shed, ultimately, I pray leading to tears of joy as my marriage resolves itself.

I wanted to share a couple all too familiar phrases from my W letter to me today...sound familiar?

--I seem to pull farther and farther away every day
--A marriage needs two people to work on it and ours just doesn't have that
--Even seeing you did not move me or cause me to feel excitement or joy
--ILYBNILWY--need to add this to my profile
--This whole fiasco is my fault
--I have to regain some peace and clarity in my life; although legally separating from you will not bring that, it will help me feel more organized about this process and our marriage

Will somebody please introduce me to the alien that has infested my beautiful wife and tell them to get the F*** out of my sitch.

[saffie]

I am SO sorry that this has happened. What are the chances you will get to come back and sort things early?

I am glad you have got people around to give you legal advice etc.

Saffie

[Patrick325]

Long distance relationships are tough....try to get out of the service asap and do a 180 on her....you have to be there to be able to recognize what she is going through. Read the book and keep your head up....She may change her mind if you are there helping her with the kids and paying attention to her. If you can't get out soon try to put her off for a D until you can get out. You can do it!