asking a MLCer to be faithful?

[tmi]

One of the things I'm reading right now is Getting Back Together: How to Reconcile with your Partner and Make it Last (Youngs, Goetz). I'm not very far into it yet, but it seems to echo much of the information in DR.

One of the suggestions is to set boundaries and make agreements around the separation - financial, child-related, etc. - including possibly an agreement to remain faithful and discussion of how long the separation might last.

Do you think it's wise to ask an MLCer who feels like he needs a new start and is finally 'getting out' to commmit to not screwing around during separation? How about trying to get an idea of whether they see this as a time-limited or open-ended separation?

[Jack_Three_Beans]

I see this as being viewed as pressure and controlling.
I think asking that is the most logical thing a LBS would want to do, but look how far logical thinking has gotten you.

DB goes against eveything you would normally and logically do, emotionally as well.

If you ask about a time line....it usually isn't pretty, They usually aren't going to have a clue, and most of them get upset.

Boundaries with the kids and money, yes. Boundaries with anything else...you aren't there yet. Boundaries are lines that you will not let them cross without reprecussions. Can you do those reprecussions?

Threads -
Try to keep your posting to one thread. Rather than make a new one for each question or thought.
It keeps the board less cluttered and makes you easier to find, including your questions.

[tmi]

Even if it's a drastic change of topic? I like to be able to go to the specific thing under discussion, but obviously, that's just me

Thanks for the feedback - I think you're right, darn it.

[missmyfriend]

I know what you mean Ingrid but it is best to post in one thread, ask a question, contemplate the responses before moving on to the next question or list a bunch of questions in a single post and wait for responses. It is easier to follow for one person in this fashion.

You are asking some wonderful questions.