How often would you like to have sex?

[Vengeance]

Thanks for the input, hope to get more.
Vengeance is just a screen name I have always used. Mostly for gaming. But readheadedwife summed it up best.
After reading some of the responses I will admit twice a day would be ideal for me, but there is something about waiting that increases intensity.

I wanted to know how others feel, as this is the subject that my wife and I most argue about. I also wanted to see the spread between each spouse, and what factors you see as stopping you from getting what you want.

I also wanted to see if it is true that more women really want more then we think. I also love talking about it.

[ann25]

Ok.. before all the craziness in our lives and the D bomb and the EA, i would have liked everyday and he gave in about 2 times a week, so probably like 6-8 times a month. During the drama we had a complete dry spell. now, since then, i'd rather not at all, but it's back at about 2xs a week. age and stuff in signature. have fun tallying up all the info... hehe

[rkymtngirl]

A minimum of 5X/week. I've been out of my 3-year SSM for about 2 1/2 yrs. now. He didn't like sex (except with his laptop) more frequently than 1X/every 3 months or so. It was my first and only experience with a LD man, and I hope never to go through that again.

I'm 49, and it's taken me a couple of years to find someone who is on the same page. It's really nice to not have to beg for sex. My ex was 7 yrs. younger than me. My bf is 50.

[Kettricken]

I'm 39 and my husband is 38, married 17 years; no kids.

My preference would be about every other day to once every 2-3 days, depending. Once in awhile, I want an orgy of indulgence; occasionally my drive takes a fall and once a week would be fine. *With* mutual desire and alternating initiation.

Happily for me, that's *about* what I'm getting at the moment; perhaps just a tad under. I'm not complaining.

So call desire = 14 times a month; probably 10-14 in practice.

[RealJourney]

I am coming to the realization that I like my sex life as it stands right now. For instance, tonight, I know that if I really want sex, my H will make an effort for me, and if he really wants it, he knows I will try. If we're both wiped out, it won't happen, but we won't allow more than 2 days to go by without connecting. We don't seem to personalize any rejection anymore, as we make a deal to make it up the next day. It has taken us 20 yrs to learn to think of each other as well as ourselves.

[Heywyre]

I am female and HD compared to H but in in all honesty, I don't think I am all that HD at all

In a fantasy world I would say more but, in reality ... I would be happy with once a week. H couldn't care less if it was once a year

As a matter of fact, we passed the two year mark back in October - yes, over 2 years since we had sex - but we know that's a whole other issue. And, it was another 3 years prior to that. So, in over 5 years we have had sex twice and I am still hopeful (or is that insane?)

We are only talking wishful thinking here aren't we?

[SirPrizeMe]

When we were first married it was two-three times a week maybe, then twice a week, then later, when the kids arrived, it dwindled to once a week but only on Friday or Saturday night, never any spontaneity.

And if for some reason we missed Friday or Saturday night, it would not happen til the next week. Twice a month was a good average. And it was 100% me initiating. 100%.

There was a spell where I tired of rejection and stopped asking. We went 10 months without any sex at all. Nothing. (and there was no pregnancy or childbirth in there). When I finally brought it up to her, she did not believe me. She protested.

Between then and our separation, she initiated sex exactly once; I found out later it was in response to the OM's suggestion to her, so that she could keep up appearances.

Right now, 8 months after our last lovemaking session, I would like sex about 12 times a day.

Seriously, 4-6 times per week would be ideal, and I would just love to have some variety in timing and place - some active participation maybe.

[Vengeance]

I am a little surprised how little feedback I got on this. Not sure if it is just too personal, or lack of interest. Is this anyone else's biggest source of contention in their marriage?

[OG_Lou]

Few replies because wanting sex and what really happens in most M here is a problem we try to change but actually make little progress.

Everyone can say waht they want but how to make it happen is a problem.

Put me down for 2, 10 minuet encounters and 2, 20-30 minuet encounters per week. Oh, and some times twice on Sunday.

I wont hold my breath till it really happens. I like blue shirts, but blue lips and a blue face, I can pass on that.

Lou

[nwlywed]

Id love sex every day. In the morning, in the evening, anytime really. Honestly, Id be ok with 2-3 times a week with some oral maybe 2-3 times a month.
The reality is 1-2 times a month on average, if im lucky.
H 36 me
w 39
no kids
married 6 weeks