I don't know if this is covered in another thread, but I did a search and couldn't find it.
How often on average do you prefer to have sex on a monthly basis, and then how often you actually do?
I know that each week is different for all and everyones situation is different. But would like to get a feel for your preference, and reality.
Please also include your age, number of children and male or female.
I would be most happy having it every other day, so 15 times a month. My wife would be most happy having it once a month. We have 4 children, and I am 37 and she is 36. Married 14 years. We have agreed on once a week, and if it doesn't happen for whatever reason, we wait for the next week. So on average 3 times a month. She, however, is only into it about once a month.
I don't think my sitch is *normal* in any way, however, I am 35 and H is 32. We have 3 boys under the age of 7. I probably would have been in agreement w/ your W awhile back w/ the once a month or maybe not at all, however, since the D sitch, I pretty much was into it every day. We'll see what happens when things actually go back to *normal,* however, I would say that right now I would project at least 3 or 4 times/week.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Vengeance, It sounds like you and your W are at least in the same ball park. Most of the situations here are not even close( as in, the HD spouse would love to have sex every day, while the LD spouse would next like sex in 2010)!
My story: When I was your W's age, I had little or no sex drive. When I turned 40, something happened and I started feeling sexual again...maybe it was the fact that the kids were getting older and I was getting lonelier and more hug deprived, or maybe my hormones shifted, or maybe it was divine intervention, who knows. It's still a struggle to stay sexual, bu at least I have something to work with now, and that is really a miracle.
H and I have agreed on a 2-3 x/ week sex life. I am 45, H is 46, we have 2 kids and are married 20 yrs.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
I am 40 yo, have for children ans would like to have sex 4x/week on the average. I could go every other day for sure and even once/day with a partner who wanted to. I last had sex February 2007. My H's ideal is somewhere between 1x/month and only on vacation if under stress.
IMO, this question is like asking "How often would you like to have a yummy meal?". My answer would depend on "Who's doing the cooking or paying?" and/or "What's on the menu or how will you tempt my appetite?". If you are loading me in the car and driving to buy me sushi on Monday and pouring me a cup of coffee and setting out cookies on Tuesday etc. etc. then I would say every day (at least). If I'm usually making you your favorite corned beef and/or spending my pennies on Italian but you are appreciative, maybe every couple days or 3x a week. Since, according to the polls, most men prefer to initiate about 2/3 of the time, and I'm liking that ratio too, my ideal would probably be about 4-6X a week.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Lets see....{as IC starts his math computation...square root of 64 multiplied by xy^3...carry the 1..sun sets in the west...divided by 1/3pie r^2...82 Red Wing hockey games per season....factor in the P/E ratio of Budweiser stock...multiply by the 2.3689 average days of hunting season before IC gets his 1st buck...awe f*ck ! forgot about leap years}.....the answer is 7x per week..actually 6.5467676... but I rounded up, unless of course you want to count the .5467676...as a quickie
