Wife and I are currently separated. Sleeping at my dads house. I have been attending Counsoling, Ala-non, church, and currently reading "divorce buster" book. I have come along way in the 6 weeks of separation. Evolving and trying to stay positive. I really want this marriage to work and feel I am on the right track. Seems like my wife is doing little to acheive success during our separation. Do I say anything or just ride the wave until she says either she'll work on it or wants out?
Married to wife 4.5yrs 1 step daughter - 7yrs old - Love her to death Seperated 10/28 - Present
Probally not much you can say you just have to stay postive and let her see you as a better person through your actions. If she wants to talk then go ahead and talk, otherwise you don't bring up the R. Good luck.
Me - 34 W - 33 S - 5 D - 4 M - 14 years Bomb 1 Dec 06 Bomb 2 Aug 07 Separated - Aug 07 WAW Renting own place - Dec 07
I think you are doing a good job, stay strong, the first2-3mths are the worst, your wife will calm down, with have a different view of things in a little while. Stay strong.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
dun dun dun. Wife told me she wants a divorce. This absolutely kills me inside. I am soo hurt right now I cant even explain how I feel. We have a 7 year old daughter (hers from a previous marriage) that I have raised since she was 1. She is my heart, how do you live without your heart? Thankfully my wife knows how much our daughter means to me and I can see her whenever I want. But still living without her and taking care of her everyday hurts me. I wake up and I hurt, I go to bed and I hurt. I cry all the time. Cant work, cant eat. Is this even normal?
Married to wife 4.5yrs 1 step daughter - 7yrs old - Love her to death Seperated 10/28 - Present
It is hard to hear that, lots of us here have heard that, my H had a lawyer the day after he left my home, had separation papers, I also hurt horribly and was terrible destroyed.
BUT... it is not over, not by a long shot. Buy your time, drag your feet, don't mentioned D, dont' help her in any way to process the D papers, I'd tell my H that I had just to deal with the separation and in no ways ready to deal with D, that backed him off a bit. I also told him I understood he needed time and space and I wanted to give him that, seeing that i wasn't clingy nor acting like the furies unbound gave slowed him down.
I know you are in big pain, but GAL GAL and GAL. Excersize, fill your time with positive activities, read good books, join a class, focus on you and when you have her on the little girl. Vent, give yourself time for that, but then, and Michelle says, pull yourself by your boot straps and face the day again, there is always hope, doesn't look like it, but there is. I know limbo is the worst place, despite feeling better and dealing with the separation in much healthier terms, being separated for 8mths was very hard for me, I highly recommend you see a therapist on your own to keep your sanity. We all call it the WAS diet, I lost 17lbs in two weeks, that gave me the incentive to work out and thus, felt better about myself, to this day I still do, my H and I are back, dealing still with lots of issues, but we are together.
Stay strong, you can do it, take it one day at a time Ntrain, one day at a time.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I have been in counsoling every week and going to church to keep myself positive. I have also been reading books like a mad man. I try to keep myself around family so I dont feel soo alone.
I hear you on weight loss. I lost a good 15-20 lbs, not by working out. By not eating! I know thats not healthy but when you're depressed food seems to be the last thing on your mind. Im sure you know what I am talking about.
Believe me I am in no state to deal with divorce papers or anything else in that matter. I feel like at this point if she wants out she can do ALL the leg work. Get a Realtor, file the papers and whatever else. She is in school full-time and has 6 weeks off for Christmas so she should have more than enough time to get whatever she needs done. I have to work everyday and its bad enough I have to sit here and act like everything is fine when I cant even concentrate.
For now I go minute by minute. One minute I am ok and the next I have tears running down my face.
Thanks again and I will keep in touch!
Married to wife 4.5yrs 1 step daughter - 7yrs old - Love her to death Seperated 10/28 - Present
